A typical weekend in my life

I woke up this morning and realized, "Hey, I have a three day weekend and no plans! What am I going to do?"

I watched a little mindless television that had been on my dvr for who knows how long, then I moved into the kitchen where I washed the remaining dishes I had not washed the day before and now I sit at my kitchen table writing this blog, wondering exactly what it is that I am going to do with the rest of my weekend.

I have 2 new books I am excited to read, I have a dog that would love to go to the park, I have a fridge that needs to be cleaned out and wiped down, I could go through my closets and continue throwing out things I know I will never wear again, I could continue going through my entire house getting rid of things I no longer want, or I could even go outside and start raking leaves, and mowing the yard.......but none of these things sound interesting or are things I really want to do this weekend, but once again I realize I don't have a lot of options because I am alone. I am stuck in this God forsaken hell hole of a town without any friends here any longer......ugh!

I think about what I am doing wrong. Why I am alone. I look around my house and I see books and books and more books all of different subjects, generes, showing a wide variety of interests and knowledge. I see my guitar in which I am still learning to play, I see my artwork both drawings and photographs, I see degrees and continued education certificates reflecting a desire to learn new things and the ability to stick with and meet goals. I see interesting decor showing my creativity, I see cookbooks and boxes of recipes I have created over the years reflecting my ability to cook, I see plants reflecting my ability to nurture and keep something alive, I see my animals that reflect my ability to be a good companion and love. I think I am a well rounded person, but I also see a home I have bought and created, I see the signs of a home office reflecting my independance and ability to provide for myself and I see home improvements projects that I learned how to complete on my own and I think of all the times I have been told that all these things are also intimidating to men and that my independance scares most men. I couldn't imagine being any other way though. I have been this way my entire life. These skills and abilities are the things that helped me to survive all these years when my family turned their backs on me and I was hungry, scared and alone.