How many bad dates can you have in one month?

Ok, so after 2012 being a disastrous dating year I pretty much gave up on dating. It just seemed that every guy I was introduced to made me truly wonder how well people knew me! It is obvious that they sure don't know what I am looking for in a partner or relationship.

           It's crazy the guys I was introduced to 

one that still lived at home, every word out of his mouth appeared to be a lie and in fact was, another guy while being nice just wasn't anywhere near my type of what I was looking for because let's face it; my type hasn't exactly worked out in the past either, but I digress, a third guy was so drama filled I felt like I was watching a soap opera every time I was near him or spoke to him, and another of the many was still so hung up on his ex and the past that he couldn't get out of his own way to achieve the things in life he said he wanted in life. So after that trail of not happily ever afters I took a break. 

Then months later someone told me to try online dating. I must admit that I was skeptical of this option because I have never met anyone that had a positive experience with this but because of the fact that I truly want a partner and a friend to share life with and grow with I thought "Why not, what do I have to lose?"

Well, 2 months (keep in mind that my blogs are written prior to their posting date) into the experience let me tell you where I am. I have had many contacts via the dating site. Now just because they are contacting me doesn't mean it went anywhere. For the majority of them they want to meet in person immediately and do not want to spend time exchanging phone calls, emails, text messages trying to get to know someone first, then of course when I finally decide what the hell go have dinner with one and see what he's about, the dinner was great, conversation was good but at the end of the night when I try to say good night and go home the guy (we'll call him Harley) won't let me leave. Blocks my door to my truck and continues to try and talk me into letting him come to my house since he drove all the way from Golthwait (apx 30 mins). I tried to politely tell him that I wasn't ready to have anyone at my home and I sure wasn't looking to hop into bed with him at which time he became more persistent until I informed him that if he did not step away from my truck I was going to spray him with my pepper spray! Yeah that was a great experience!Needless to say I did not hear from that asshole again, thank God!  

Then the 2nd guy (John) I thought we had exchanged enough communications that it would be ok to meet him in a public place so I agreed to meet him at a local restaurant/bar/grill for drinks and dinner. We made plans to meet at the location the next evening (Friday). Friday afternoon comes around and since I knew he was coming in from the May I decided to text him and ask if he'd left yet because let's face it I didn't want to get there too early. His response was - "I had to come into town this morning and to be honest I don't think I am gonna make it back to town tonight!"  ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???? You decide to not come back to town and you don't even have the decency to call me and tell me??  I texted back "thanks for letting a girl know before she spent time getting ready"  Two hours later he text me and asks me if I want to drive to his house! THE NERVE of some people! I texted back no of course and went on with my night! Then on Monday morning he texted me and said he was in town and would like to meet me for lunch! After giving this invitation about 2 seconds of thought I responded back that I was going to have to decline his invitation.  Then about a month later I received another email from him asking me how i was doing......what the hell! Who does that? That was about a week ago and I still haven't responded and I am not sure if I will because every sarcastic bone in my body jumped to full attention when I saw the email from him.......

So here I sit wondering if there are any real men left in the world who know how to get to know someone, make them a priorrity, treat them with respect, and want to be a partner in someone's life............

Maybe the old friend (Sunshine) I previously wrote about will work out but I have to say at this point in life I have no faith.................

It's Valentine's Day by Jack Prelutsky

I only got one valentine and it was signed, love Frankenstein.  

I Love You More Than Applesauce

                            I Love You more than Applesauce

I love you more than applesauce,

Than peaches and a plum,

Than chocolate hearts,

And cherry tarts,

And berry bubble-gum.

I love you more than lemonade,

And seven-layer cake,

Than lollipops,

And candy drops,

And thick vanilla shake.

I love you more than marzipan,

Than marmalade on toast;

For I love pies Of any size,

But I love you the most.

By Jack Prelutsky

Ambiguous conversations.........

It's so hard to put yourself out there for someone else to see. The fear of being rejected can be crippling at times especially when you come from a background like I do. Often times though I feel like the risk is worth it but other times I just wish I had a crystal ball and could see the future so I would know if the risk was worth it or if I was just wasting my time getting to know someone.

About a month ago I reconnected with an old friend (we'll call him sunshine to protect the guilty :) who I had a crush on when we were in high school. To my surprise he confessed he also had a crush on me but was too shy to ever say anything to me. We have been in touch every day since the night we reconnected and shared some interesting conversations.

What's my problem you ask? Sunshine lives 3 hours away from me and we have yet to reconnect in person and I don't have any indication from him on when he might want to try. He says he does want to spend time together but still no indication of when. Now yes, it has only been 30 days so I am not freaking out about that yet, but I would like to know if we are on the same page because I don't want to waste my time. Living 3 hours away from me isn't a problem and I am more than willing to do the driving because he is a single father but how do I put it out there that I am curious about a time a table?

Possibilities are exciting

Have you ever put yourself out there and let someone know how you feel but were unsure of their reaction?  Putting myself back together wasn't the easiest thing to do after my divorce and I remind myself to not make new people pay for the sins of others but it's not the easiest task to learn to trust again.
Recently I reconnected with an old friend from high school who I always had a crush on and I had a feeling he had a crush on me too but he never did anything to confirm it until a couple of weeks ago.  We have continued to talk and have been flirting for the past few weeks and I have given some thought about what I would be open to if this did develop into something but not to great extent because I don't want to get ahead of myself but I would be lying to myself and you if I didn't say I was excited about the possibilities that could lie ahead.