I guess it will never be.......

My sister and I never really had a chance to be sisters thanks to our parents divorce and constant bickering between the two of them and the stepmother since we were separated by the parental kidnapping of my sister. Our lack of relationship may have started because of this but as adults for some reason unknown and not understood by me we still don't have a sisterly relationship or bond.
I have always wanted to be close to her. As a kid I looked up to her and admired her but since she is two years older than me I always thought that was the reason she never wanted to have me around but as we grew older I started noticing major differences between us in our beliefs and values. I use to try and talk to her about them but I always felt that if I didn't agree with her she judged me and in her mind her way was the only way and if I didn't follow her way then I was never going to be good enough for her. In spite of this I still loved my sister and wanted to have a bond with her but it always felt like I was a tolerated visitor in her life. When my niece came along I wanted even more for us to be close and for awhile I though things were better and then when I married it seemed like we were getting closer but then 6 years ago I divorced and I noticed things started to change again and we talked a little less and we saw each other less then I noticed I wasn't invited to my niece's birthday parties every year. Then when I moved to the same town she lived in for the first year things seemed better.  We spent alot of time together and had lunches and went shopping and talked on the phone more and even had weekly dinners at her house but this year we've probably talked on the phone two or three times and texted a hand full of times and haven't seen each other at all and we live in the same town!

I feel like I try. I call and she doesn't answer, I text and might get a reply a day or two later, I invite to spend time together and nothing. It hurts my feelings and makes me lonely especially since she is the only blood relative I had a relationship with and is my sister but then this week again I reach out to her to try and make plans to see her and her family for Christmas and a day later she finally text me back with "we are having family come to stay with us and... "(something else I will leave private for her but was shocked as her sister she had not even reached out to me about and when I asked her why she hadn't her response was simply "I just didn't "

Maybe I am being overly sensitive but I was shocked she didn't share the situation with me. She is my sister and I want to know about her life and I want to be a part of her life but it just seems like she doesn't want me to be a part of her life. I wish I knew why maybe it would be less painful but I guess I will never know and just have to figure a way to get over it and not let it hurt so much but it's hard, especially with the life I was dealt but I guess like I have done with every other difficult hand I will eventually get over it and survive it.

I can't even seem to sort my thoughts out tonight for all the tears.......

Is something wrong with me?

I have never been one of those people that had to spend every waking moment with the person I am in a relationship with. I have my own friends, family, hobbies and responsibilities to tend to. Even when I was married I didn't have to every single activity with my ex husband and often enjoyed being in complete silence reading while he watched tv, or doing yard work but on opposite sides of the yard, etc.

Over the last 8 years I have ended many relationships/dating situations because the other person wants to spend every waking moment together when we aren't at work and I have even had a couple get upset when I don't respond to a text or phone call when I am working.

I have even gone as far as explaining to these men that I cannot handle someone who is too clingy or too stand offish. I like someone that is a happy middle but time and time again I get the same things.

A few weeks ago I was introduced by a friend to one guy who I met on a Thursday night for drinks and thought he was very nice.  He explained on his days off he was going to go visit his family which was the upcoming weekend. Worked out well because I had already made plans with girlfriends for the upcoming weekend anyway. He asked if I would like to get together for a movie on Sunday night when he returned to town. I said sure even though he said he wasn't going to be back until about 9pm, but when Sunday came around I was so tired from the weekend that I asked if we could do it another night during the week or perhaps the upcoming weekend. He said sure. When the weekend came closer he told me he again was going out of town. He then stated he never stays in town on his days off and always goes home to his family's house. I let him know that this would make getting to know me difficult as I didn't go out a lot during the week due to having to get up early for work and kept most of my dating to the weekends. He stated sorry but he didn't want to get to know me.  Hmmm doesn't seem to be willing to make a lot of effort or compromise though.

Last week I was introduced by a friend to yet another guy  on a Thursday night. We met at the local park and sat and visited for 3 hours. I was interested in learning more about him and he was interested in learning more about me so we exchanged phone numbers. This gentleman called me the next day and asked if I was free for dinner. I was so I agreed to go to dinner with him. We sat and visited and he mentioned that our mutual friend had mentioned I don't like clingy people but then I also want someone to put an effort forth to get to know me. We discussed this for a  little while among other things over the next couple of hours. The evening was over and he dropped me off at home. I thought nice. No stress, comfortable and we were able to discuss the whole clingy/distant thing without it being awkward.

Saturday morning I received another call from him asking me what I was doing that day. I told him I had some obligations to tend to but should be free later that afternoon. He said he would heck back. Later that afternoon though I wasn't feeling well (love allergies) and I told him I was going to stay home and rest. He said if I needed anything to let him know and I thanked him and hung up.  Sunday I had turned my phone off because I wasn't feeling well and wanted to just relax and spend the day reading and when I turned my phone on late that afternoon I had missed 3 phone calls from him and 2 text messages from him. Ugh! Really? Is it just me or is that a bit much? I texted him and said I still just wanted to lay low and relax and had turned my phone off because I didn't want to talk to anyone which prompted him to call again. UGH!!!!

I didn't answer!

This morning (Monday) he called again. I explained to him I was working and still not feeling all that great and would just take a few days to myself to which he responded maybe we could just hang out and watch a movie tonight if I was feeling better. Is it just me or was he not listening?

I don't understand how you can explain to someone that you can't deal with clingy and then they call every day (multiple times one day) and expect you to spend every evening with them (or at least it appears that way right now)? Is it just me I wondered?  I was going to call a couple of friends and ask them but I realized i didn't have to because I already knew the answers.

A & P started dating when we were right out of high school and A and I actually grew apart because they only spent time with each other neglecting all of her friends.

R&J when R started dating J she up and disappeared and moved to another state and got married before i even knew she had left the state because the spent every moment together neglecting her friends.

J&J started dating in high school and we grew apart because J spent every waking moment with J and then they married and moved away and I didn't hear from her for 13 years after they were divorced.

J&S are always fighting because J doesn't understand why S wants to spend every waking moment with her and is always feeling smothered.

J&K fought the first 15 years of their marriage because J wanted K to quite her job and stay home (no kids) and never go anywhere without him but K is a very independent woman and felt smothered by this constant attention. J finally got it through his head he was going to lose his wife if he kept smothering her and the last 2 years have been better.

How do you tell someone look I liked you the first couple of time we spent time together but the constant calling and wanting to see me every night since we met is already making me want to run screaming into the night??????????????

Curious to hear other's thoughts on this.

Seale (pointer mix) is in need of a FUREVER home! Please Help!

Seale developed kennel cough and was in desperate need of a temporary foster home where she could be treated and get well so NaKoda and I helped her out.

I picked Seale up on a Tuesday morning and brought her home  to stay with us (cat Dahlia, NaKoda rottweiler and me). Leader her into the truck was traumatic for her. She was so scared. I lifted her up and put her in the cab of the truck and she laid so flat against the seat I thought if it was possible she would just soak into the seat.  The ten minute drive to the house she laid their with her head in my lap as still as she could possibly be.

Once we arrived to the house she easily unloaded but stayed so close to me that you would have thought I had a dog growing out of my legs! Seale followed me into the yard where I left her alone for a moment so I could get NaKoda's shampoo and conditioner and a towel.  I returned back outside to Seale where she calmly stood as I scrubbed her free of dirt and fleas and ticks and dried her off.  Once this was finished I had to decide if she was coming in the house or staying outside but I quickly realized this dog was so scared and unsure of everything she was too frightened to come inside.

About an hour passed and from time to time I watched her outside and she found her a spot between the banana trees and quietly laid until I returned outside.

This time I took NaKoda outside to meet Seale with me.  While NaKoda went right to Seale and Seale submitted to NaKoda.  Seale was still terrible afraid of me and unsure of my intentions. Each time I reached to touch her she would sink away as if she thought I was going to hit her.  This broke my heart because it told me this young pup may have been struck. I believe to hit only teaches fear not obedience and I don't want to be feared.

NaKoda and I sat quietly together as I pet her and then NaKoda and I walked around the yard together.  If Seale would fall in with us then that meant she had chosen to fall into our pack.  Once Seale followed us into the house the rest of the day was about her adjusting to our house. She still remained close to me at all times but quietly sat by my desk as I worked and that evening she followed me so closely as I did chores and cooked dinner that if I turned around I couldn't see her because she was already behind me again!

The first night instead of putting her in a crate I decided to put a blanket on the floor beside my bed to let her sleep on.  As she quietly laid there all I could think was this girl just needs a new beginning - Miki (Lokata for "new beginning") I did start calling her Miki while she was with us and she did respond to it. (Pronounced me-key)

When I woke up on day 2 Seale was still laying on her bed, quietly waiting for me to wake up.  So our day begins.  I poured my coffee and Seale, NaKoda & Dahlia and I all went outside. Seale was still very fearful and wouldn't follow NaKoda out into the yard so I walked her around a bit and then she sat at my feet as I had my coffee.  For the rest of the day she laid next to my feet under my desk only moving to follow me around.  It wasn't until I was asleep on night 2 that the first sign of her personality started to show.  I was woken in the middle of the night to find her sneaking into my bed to lay next to me and NaKoda! Seale just wanted to be loved so badly that I let her stay.

As the 2 week period went on I noticed she has separation anxiety. The way she acted out was so funny. On 2 separate occasions during the time she spent with us I had to leave her in the house when I had to leave.  Upon my return each occassion I came home to find everything she could carry in her mouth piled high on the dog bed in my living room. My yoga mat, exercise equipment, shoes, books, magazines, every dog toy in the toy box was piled high on NaKoda's dog bed but the amazing part is nothing was chewed. It was just all there with her laying in the middle of it all. NaKoda was standing in the hall way looking at her like, "Mom it wasn't me".

Miki/Seale loved watching episodes of American Hoggers 

As each day passed she became more and more playful with NaKoda an they would run and jump and play.  We've been working on sit, stay has been a challenge due to her separation anxiety but once she finds a furever home and becomes comfortable she should learn pretty quickly.  Seale is very affectionate and eager to please.  Seale is leash trained but is also good off leash as well. Seale is completely housebroken and loves peanut butter sandwiches and carob and yogurt drops and granola.

Seale has gone several places with me such as the local city parks, my grandmother's house and friends' houses and has done well with all the animals she has come in contact with.  Seale met a couple of children as well and was drawn to them immediately. Seale was also able to attend the Brownwood Reunion event and while she was a little timid of all the noise and people she did very well.

Seale needs someone who will take her on long frequent walks or a place with lots of room for her to run and play.  She needs someone who will be patient and help her resolve her separation anxiety issues. I used lavender and camomile calming treats while she stayed at our house and she responded well.  Seale will be a faithful, loving, and loyal companion to her furever owners.

Roxy's owner arrested - Stephenville Empire-Tribune | Stephenville, TX | News, Sports, Lifestyles: Local: roxy, animal cruelty, david stokes, alexandria brantley,

If they did everything they could to help that dog then she wouldn't have been in such horrible condition and if she was beyond medical help then why was she just put outside and left to suffer (wounds from the chain on her) instead of being humanely euthanized? Any officer of the courts who would say that they did everything they could to "help that dog" is just as guilty as the owners.......


Roxy's owner arrested - Stephenville Empire-Tribune | Stephenville, TX | News, Sports, Lifestyles: Local: roxy, animal cruelty, david stokes, alexandria brantley,: The owner of an emaciated dog name

Frustrated........

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we think it should or want it to.

When I was a little girl living with a mother who was dying from cancer while I was being sexually abused all I wanted was for someone to step in and rescue me. Even after I finally told my "father" what was happening to me, he let me down by telling me there wasn't room in his house for me. This was a devastating blow to that little girl. On top of feeling abused and unloved, burdened with watching her mother slowly and painfully die she was now saddled with feelings of abandonment by a person who was supposed to take care of her, love her and protect her.  This experience has stayed with me throughout my entire life. It wrote on the slate of who I was to become. It has affected every relationship I have had and continues to affect my ability to connect and trust others.

After my mother died of course my father was forced to come and get me but he didn't get in any kind of hurry to get there. Once there though it was a whole different experience. I felt the tension, I felt as if I wasn't wanted there. Like I was an unwanted burden from my "father's" past. I never could quite understand this though because my older sister was always treated as if she belonged even though I did not. I couldn't understand why she was accepted and loved and I wasn't. I felt so alone. I felt I had no one on my side. I felt as if I didn't belong and no one wanted me. I couldn't understand what I had done so wrong to make no one love me or want me. The years went by and things got worse. My "father" and his 2nd wife divorced and he blamed me for it. He constantly told me she left because of me. I put on this tough exterior and acted as if it didn't hurt me, but I also engaged in a lot of reckless, self destructive behavior because of the feelings of being unloved,  unwanted, and neglected.

Eventually, I was emancipated because after my "father's" marriage to his 3rd wife the court was able to get an excellent view into the abusive and neglectful life I had been put into and thought at 16 I would be better on my own. I always thought that this was a sad statement that even the legal system thought I would be better on my own than in my only living parent's house but I also agreed with them.

I never heard from one single family member. No one ever offered to help me and the remainder of my high school years was a great struggle to continue with school, pay bills, manage to get everything I needed, and survive but I did it for awhile. This survival though came at a great price. My reckless, self destructive behaviors put me in harms way several times and one night when I woke up to a man on top of me in my bed who I did not know nor did I let in the house much less my room a boyfriend's (at the time) mother came to my rescue and allowed me to stay with them until I graduated and went to college.

Even after I went to college though I always still felt alone and abandoned and I desperately wanted to be loved. I entered into many relationships out of the pure need to not be alone and feel loved but because of my experiences these relationships never lasted long and I never really truly trusted anyone and the cycle continued well into my adult hood. To this day I still have difficulty trusting anyone and have difficulty connecting with anyone.

Even with all this baggage I continue through out my life to try and heal but it's still difficult to connect and trust others. With a line of bad relationships behind me of people who lied, and cheated and stole from me I still try to put myself out there and take the risk to find love. To find someone I can trust. To find someone I can build a life with. It's not easy though because everyone seems to have some kind of  baggage of their own.

A few months back my friends introduced me to another friend of theirs who they thought would be a really good math for me. We met and things went well. He was a single dad in the military. He owned his own house and been married once. He was an outdoorsy kind of guy, hard worker, good father, good sense of humor and was attractive. We seem to have a lot of common interests.  A couple of weeks went by and when the mutual friends invited him out to their house again he asked them to also invite me out. Another occasion where I thought things went well.  A couple of more weeks went by and he texted me inviting me to another outing. Another evening I thought things went well. Then a couple more weeks went by and after a couple of ignored texts to him I thought, "he's just not that into me" and I had decided to move on. Then my birthday came around and our mutual friends were going to have a dinner for me. Surprising to me he showed up at the dinner. We had another good evening, so I thought. Then for the last 2 weeks nothing......now I could be jumping the gun and  this couple of weeks thing could just be his pattern but I am so confused by him.  I hate not knowing where I stand.

My friend tells me that he has his own issues from past relationships because his ex just up and left him while he was out of the country. His own family had a lot of issues, but I keep thinking these are not excuses for complete silence for a couple of weeks and then a sudden pop up. All I want is to have some communication in between the random get togethers every couple of weeks but getting him to respond has proven to be a difficult task. My friend's husband says not to take it personally because he does the same thing to him, but to me when you are trying to get to know someone it seems like communication might be a priority.

Accepting things that happened as they did

Oprah tells us that forgiveness is giving up the hope that things will turn out other than they did and accepting that events occurred as they occurred. Are there things you can't accept that happened as they did? Write down what you still can't accept.

I have accepted that events and people occurred the way they did and in many ways have turned those into positives in my life, but I still feel hurt at times.Sometimes it is hard to let go of all the pain from the past but in order to move on I have to. Some people tend to withdraw and are afraid to try new things or take chances on new people but I have always thought a life without risk would be no life at all.  

Instead of letting trauma or hurt from my past dictate my life I take risks every chance I get because I would rather get my heart broken or be hurt again than to never feel anything again. 

Brown County Folks - Corrine T. Smith Animal Center is having a new volunteer training session on Sept 1st 1:30pm - 3:30pm if you are interested in volunteering at the shelter please contact me at ctsacvolunteer@gmail.com  to organize. We still need lots of dog walkers/bathers and would like someone to help out in reception/cat rooms on Wed afternoons, and Sunday afternoons. IF you aren't available on a regular basis we also have adoption events and fundraisers through out the year you could help with as well! Just let me know! 

Brown County Folks - Corrine T. Smith Animal Center is having a new volunteer training session on Sept 1st 1:30pm - 3:30pm if you are interested in volunteering at the shelter please contact me at ctsacvolunteer@gmail.com  to organize. We still need lots of dog walkers/bathers and would like someone to help out in reception/cat rooms on Wed afternoons, and Sunday afternoons. IF you aren't available on a regular basis we also have adoption events and fundraisers through out the year you could help with as well! Just let me know! 

It's Been A While.........

Last year I was writing about my dating after divorce experience but stopped because I was discouraged by the potential dates I experienced. It seems if they didn't want to jump head first right in then, they were too needy, married (yes one of them said he was divorced but turns out he was just a liar), they didn't know how to be a gentleman or I just didn't have anything in common with any of them. After those experiences I decided to lay low for awhile and just continue to be on my own.

In 2012 I started volunteering at the Corinne T. Smith Animal Center to fill my spare time and I think that was the best decision I have made because there is nothing like going up to the shelter and just playing and spending time with those animals who only want to be loved and ask for nothing.  It has been a great stress reliever! I still hadn't really dated over the new year not because I wasn't open to it, I just hadn't met anyone that sparked my interest nor was I really looking.

An old friend I reconnected with recently decided to take me on and find me someone. I must say while she has come through in many areas where something was needed or wanted by various people or organizations I didn't have a lot of faith in her of finding me a mate (and not sure that I do even now) just because I feel like I have given up; but never the less on with the story..................

My friend Sarah*  immediately thought of a friend of her husband's (John*) she thought she should introduce me to.  A few weeks went by and she told me some information about him and I asked her a few questions and told her about what I was interested in and what some deal breakers were and she seemed to think this friend of her John's* was still someone I needed to meet.

One Saturday afternoon I received a text from Sarah* telling me to come out because John* had invited his friend Charlie* over to cook out.  I loaded up NaKoda and drove out to her house and Charlie* was already there. I took a deep breath and walked in the front door.

Not bad - attractive, taller than me (shorter or same height is a deal breaker) but when Sarah* introduced us I reached out to shake his hand and he turned to talk to John* to which I responded "what kind of Texas boy doesn't shake hands" he immediately turned around and shook my hand :) The night progressed and we talked a bit and laughed and joked (he had a sarcastic sense of humor which I like cause I am too) but I could tell Charlie* was very nervous. Sarah* told me after I left he stayed and grilled them with questions about me..........she also said he wanted us to all to get together again later on this week to which I accepted so I guess now it's time to just ride this journey out and see where it leads.........wish me luck!




*names have been changed to protect the guilty

Family

It's funny because my sister and I did not grow up together. She was raised with our father and his 2nd wife and I was raise by our mother until she passed away and then lived with our father and his 2nd family for about 3 -3 &1/2 years before they divorced and we were all split up and I began the emancipation process.  By that time my sister was a senior in high school and I was a freshman. 

Growing up I looked up to my sister so much. I looked forward to the short time in the Summer I was able to spend with her but as all older/younger sibling relationships she never wanted me to tag along with her and her friends and always made sure I was aware of it.  It never changed how much I looked up to her though. 

Once my mom passed away and I had to move in with them I came to believe she really didn't like me very much at all.  We fought all the time and she never wanted to do anything with me and I always just chalked it up to her being older than me. I thought as we grew older things would change and we would grow closer as many siblings do.  It seems just the opposite happened though. 

As we have grown older I feel more and more that she judges me on what she thinks she knows about me (which is very little because she doesn't seem to take an interest in the things I do or my life in general), I have heard comments she has made about me by others (which are totally hurtful and untrue) based on what she thinks she knows about me, I feel like she avoids me at all costs. Sometimes I feel like if we weren't related she would write me off as she has many people in her life.  Even with all this though I try to put those things aside in hopes that one day she and I will have an open discussion about all of it and I continue to try to reach out to her but it seems every time I call or text she cuts that short or if I say we need to get together she says yes we do and it never happens (when I first moved back to the area we had dinner on Thursday nights and she said we needed to get back to that but then I never head any more from her).  It just feels like there is always some excuse, she's busy with teaching, she's busy with my niece, she's busy with her husband's family, etc. etc. etc. as to why she doesn't have time for me or to spend together. I even tell her whenever you are in town for a meal call me and I will meet you but more times than I care to admit I see her on FB checking into a resturant in town and she never calls me. It hurts my feelings to think she has time for everything else in her life but no time for me.  I have invited her to come down to the animal center and volunteer with me, have dinner, let me know when is a good time to come out and visit, etc. etc. etc. but nothing. She's just too busy or as I believe more and more she just doesn't want to see me.  

Thinking this; hurts me deeply and I honestly don't think she cares (probably doesn't even think about how her actions may have hurt my feelings). I remember when I found out she was pregnant with my niece I told myself I was going to do whatever it took to have a relationship with my sister so I could have a relationship with my niece. My niece has always been the most important person in my life but even now the strain between my sister and I has kept me away from my niece.  

A few weeks ago a trusted mutual person told me her issue with me is that she thinks I'm a hippie (that person's word not mine) a free spirit and she doesn't understand me, but I don't understand why that alone would keep her from wanting to have a relationship with her sister.  Never the less here we sit. It's her birthday and I texted her 3 hours ago to tell her happy birthday (because she's at the dr with a sick family member) and I have yet to hear anything from her.  I asked her a question yesterday via text and she never responded. 

It just hurts my heart.  I am sure if she see's this feed post on my FB and bothers to read it she's going to be upset at me, because it seems like I can't do anything right in her eyes but honestly I don't worry about it because I have always lived life by my rules and have never cared what anyone thought about how I live. I have made mistakes and I have had great successes and achievements and adventures and I will continue to live this way. I just wish she could accept me for who I am; as I do her and be my sister.  I know we are as different as night and day and I am ok with that. Sometimes I have things I want to talk to her about but its a subject that when I have brought it up in the past she's changed because I can tell it makes her uncomfortable or what not. Sometimes I want to share good news with her or know how she's doing from her instead of second hand from mutual people in our lives but I fear I will never have a bond with her and I just don't understand why. 

What's the right breed for you?

Anything you do with friends, you can do with a dog!

If you have an active lifestyle and spend lots of time outside you need a dog with an active temperament but if you lead a sedentary life you need a couch potato of a dog.

Some things to think about as you select the right breed for you are:

Where do you spend your time? Do you spend most of your time outdoors or indoors? Do you live in the city or in the country?

Breeds with sporting or working backgrounds are best for active people who live in the country or suburbs who can provide an active lifestyle for these dogs in order to prevent behavioral issues many city dwellers experience with active dogs such as escape artists, constant anxious behaviors at doors or windows, constant howling, tearing up furniture or belongings etc.

Some sporting or working background breeds are

Nova Scotia Duck Trolling Retriever      Curly-coated Retriever               Golden Retriever                                                                                   Cocker Spaniel                                      Springer Spaniel                          Australian Shepard                                       Pointers                                                 Setters                                        Healers                                                                                           
Coon hounds                                          Rottweilers                                 Boxers
Schnauzers                                            Beauceron                                  Collies
German Shepherds                                  Norwegian Buhund                    Welsh Sheepdogs
Welsh Sheepdogs                                  Samoyed                                    Siberian Husky                                     
Alaskan Husky                                      Alaskan Malamute                      Great Dane
Bull Mastiff                                             Weimaraner                                Belgian Malinois
Finnish Lapphund                                    Great Pyrenees                        
Great Pyrenees
American Staffordshired Terrier AKA American Pit Bull Terrier


These dogs love to run, herd, swim and scout. They will be perfect companions for someone who never stops and is always on the move or an active family who loves to play outdoors for hours on end. 


However, if you have a more sedentary lifestyle or are a city dweller you might want to think about a breed that enjoys the same type of lifestyle. 


Some breed that do not need as much exercise as the larger sporting or working breeds are:


terriers (do research there are some terriers that fall into an active lifestyle breed)
poodles                                      French Bulldog                        Pug
Boston Terrier                            King George Cavalier              Basset Hounds
Chinese Crested                         Chihuahua                               Havanese
Maltese                                      Pomeranian                             Shih Tzu
Yorkshire Terrier                        Bichon Frise                           Chinese Shar-Pei
Chow-Chow                              Keeshond

Another thing to keep in mind when trying to choose a dog is the climate in which you live. For example a RESPONSIBLE dog owner who lives in Texas does not want to have an Alaskan Malamute, St Bernard, or  Siberian Husky because of their double coats and the heat creating potential for breathing problems in these breeds. Also, a RESPONSIBLE dog owner living in Alaska wouldn't want to take a hairless dog such as a Chinese Crested or a short haired dog such as an American Pitt Bull Terrier to live without proper gear.

While you are trying to decide what breed is best for you, your family, your lifestyle, and living environment go to your local animal shelter such as the Corinne T. Smith Animal Center in Brownwood Texas and spend time with the various breeds in the shelter before deciding which breed is best to adopt for you!

http://www.ctsanimalcenter.org/

Bookkeeper/Office Manager/VA w/MBA in Business Administration

My name is Toni Burleson, and I have been working in the virtual industry for over 3 years to contribute to the success of corporations, small businesses and executives everywhere.  English is my native language and I currently reside in Texas.

I am by no means a newbie to the virtual industry. I have been working in the virtual capacity for the past 3 years and prior to this (further work history can be found at http://tburleson76.elance.com) I have been supporting, collaborating and creating in this capacity for the past 17 years (since I was in high school) I was as an administrative assistant, bookkeeper, office administrator, and general manager. I have provided administrative support for both large and small businesses.  I learn quickly and enjoy a challenge. I am available through various contact methods during the work day including land line phone, texting, email, Skype and IM. I must tell you the fastest and easiest way to contact me is via email or telephone.

I have experience in management, bookkeeping, internet service provider, agriculture, home repair, business ownership, writing, and administrative support and transcription. My education includes a BS in Business and a Masters in Business Administration, and continued educational courses via small business association.

For interview purposes I can be available any time we may agree to set up an interview. 

What I will bring to this job to ensure our success and growth?

If you choose to hire me you will be hiring a dedicated professional with positive energy and a pioneering spirit. I will take the time to understand your needs and deliver quality work that meets or exceeds your expectations, with minimal supervision. Please contact me if you have questions or would like to get to know me further. I welcome the opportunity to discuss your project and to become a partner in your success.

https://www.odesk.com/users/~~1a9152f2f1d957fe

Sincerely,

Toni Burleson

Bookkeeper/Office Manager/VA w/MBA in Business Administration

My name is Toni Burleson, and I have been working in the virtual industry for over 3 years to contribute to the success of corporations, small businesses and executives everywhere.  English is my native language and I currently reside in Texas.

I am by no means a newbie to the virtual industry. I have been working in the virtual capacity for the past 3 years and prior to this (further work history can be found at http://tburleson76.elance.com) I have been supporting, collaborating and creating in this capacity for the past 17 years (since I was in high school) I was as an administrative assistant, bookkeeper, office administrator, and general manager. I have provided administrative support for both large and small businesses.  I learn quickly and enjoy a challenge. I am available through various contact methods during the work day including land line phone, texting, email, Skype and IM. I must tell you the fastest and easiest way to contact me is via email or telephone.

I have experience in management, bookkeeping, internet service provider, agriculture, home repair, business ownership, writing, and administrative support and transcription. My education includes a BS in Business and a Masters in Business Administration, and continued educational courses via small business association.

For interview purposes I can be available any time we may agree to set up an interview. 

What I will bring to this job to ensure our success and growth?

If you choose to hire me you will be hiring a dedicated professional with positive energy and a pioneering spirit. I will take the time to understand your needs and deliver quality work that meets or exceeds your expectations, with minimal supervision. Please contact me if you have questions or would like to get to know me further. I welcome the opportunity to discuss your project and to become a partner in your success.

https://www.odesk.com/users/~~1a9152f2f1d957fe

Sincerely,

Toni Burleson

Corinne T. Smith Animal Center - Volunteer Training Session

Brown County Folks - Corrine T. Smith Animal Center is having a new volunteer training session on Aug. 4th 1pm - 3pm if you are interested in volunteering at the shelter please contact me at ctsacvolunteer@gmail.com  to organize. We still need lots of dog walkers/bathers and would like someone to help out in reception/cat rooms on Wed afternoons, and Sunday afternoons. IF you aren't available on a regular basis we also have adoption events and fundraisers through out the year you could help with as well! Just let me know! 

Darcy - Male Pit Bull/Terrier Mix 10 months

Hi! Pay attention people cause the spotlight should be on me! I have lots of energy and would love to find a home who likes to play & exercise alot!  Friday my volunteer took me out with Reba and we played and played. I like to rough house a little more than Reba did but I knew my limits and when my volunter told me to settle down I did! 

She gave me a bone so Reba could have a rest and I walked a few feet away from my volunteer and layed down and chewed on my bone! I think my volunteer was happy I didn't run away when she wasn't holding my leash cause she gave me lots of praise for staying with her! She even let me finish our walk around the yard without holding my leash cause I stayed right beside her and Reba the whole time! 

I would be a great addition to any FUREVER home and I promise to always play with my new family and exercise even if they have other animals! That would just add to all the fun I intend to bring to my new FUREVER home! 

Come on down and check me out and I promise you will fall in love with me and want to take me home!

Roles

What role do you play at home, at work or in the world? What roles do you assign others? What would happen if you were to become aware of these roles and make them less important?

As a single woman business owner I am the same person. I am the strong independent, go to girl who gets things accomplished and enjoys what life has to offer to me. But, the softer side of me often feels alone and isolated because of these same characteristics I have had to develop in order to survive terrible experiences that happened early in life. Sometimes being seen as strong, independent and self sufficient can be seen as you don't need anyone and while I do what I do and learn what I need to learn in order to manage single life it doesn't always mean I don't want or need people.  I don't often assign roles to others because in my personal life I have not really found many I can rely on. I tend to let the people who are active in my life be how they wish to be and my reactions to their behaviors are based upon their actions. This helps keep disappointment to a minimum and appreciation applied to those who are deserving. I am very aware of the roles I assign to myself and others and I am not sure of a better way to do it and still be happy in my life but there is always room for improvement! 

Corinne T. Smith Animal Center - Volunteer Training Session

Brown County Folks - Corrine T. Smith Animal Center is having a new volunteer training session on Aug. 4th 1pm - 3pm if you are interested in volunteering at the shelter please contact me at ctsacvolunteer@gmail.com  to organize. We still need lots of dog walkers/bathers and would like someone to help out in reception/cat rooms on Wed afternoons, and Sunday afternoons. IF you aren't available on a regular basis we also have adoption events and fundraisers through out the year you could help with as well! Just let me know! 

Bookkeeper/Office Manager/VA w/MBA in Business Administration

 My name is Toni Burleson, and I have been working in the virtual industry for over 3 years to contribute to the success of corporations, small businesses and executives everywhere.  English is my native language and I currently reside in Texas.

I am by no means a newbie to the virtual industry. I have been working in the virtual capacity for the past 3 years and prior to this (further work history can be found at http://tburleson76.elance.com) I have been supporting, collaborating and creating in this capacity for the past 17 years (since I was in high school) I was as an administrative assistant, bookkeeper, office administrator, and general manager. I have provided administrative support for both large and small businesses.  I learn quickly and enjoy a challenge. I am available through various contact methods during the work day including land line phone, texting, email, Skype and IM. I must tell you the fastest and easiest way to contact me is via email or telephone.

I have experience in management, bookkeeping, internet service provider, agriculture, home repair, business ownership, writing, and administrative support and transcription. My education includes a BS in Business and a Masters in Business Administration, and continued educational courses via small business association.

For interview purposes I can be available any time we may agree to set up an interview. 

What I will bring to this job to ensure our success and growth?

If you choose to hire me you will be hiring a dedicated professional with positive energy and a pioneering spirit. I will take the time to understand your needs and deliver quality work that meets or exceeds your expectations, with minimal supervision. Please contact me if you have questions or would like to get to know me further. I welcome the opportunity to discuss your project and to become a partner in your success.

https://www.odesk.com/users/~~1a9152f2f1d957fe

Sincerely,

Toni Burleson

What was the best day of your life?

I was flipping through a magazine the other day and I read the question, "what was the best day of your life?" and I realized I did not have an answer for this question. This made me a little sad.

I could say it was the day I graduated high school because after being emancipated at 15 it was a struggle to work, pay the bills, take care of myself while keeping a roof over my head but I would be lying because it was more of a relief to be done with school than the best day of my life.

I could say it was the day I got married but now that I am divorced it wouldn't make sense (and for me personally would be a little sad; looking back) for that to have been the best day of my life.

 I could say it was day I graduated with my undergraduate degree or my graduate degree but while it was a wonderful achievement it was just another day in my life. No one even acknowledged I had completed my degrees much less fly to Arizona to attend my commencement ceremonies.

I could say it was the day I bought any of the properties I owned but those were all just days I was glad the process had come to an end.

While I have many days that were spent doing things I enjoy, most of what could have been called "the best days of my life" have been tainted by a bad experience or a sense of loneliness.

Most of my days are spent alone with my animals whether they be days spent home or traveling without a witness to my life or someone to share my days with there always seems to be a little cloud of darkness hovering just past the horizon. This darkness hovering just past the horizon seems to be an ever present reminder that I am alone unless someone needs something from me and that is usually the only time I hear from people.

Are you powerless in your life?

Recently I was reading an article called Power Surge by Martha Beck and it made me think about all the statements of powerlessness I hear from friends, co-workers, clients, and yes even from me at times. The article described 3 women who used statements such as:
1. "I'm terrified about my daughters drinking, but I've asked her to get help and she just yells at me."
2. "My boss can be really unethical but that's how the company works and if I complain my job is history"
3. "I know I should take better care of myself but someone has to be there for my husband and children."

We've all heard these types of statement in the past. Martha Beck called them declarations of powerlessness. What I found most disturbing in this article was that Martha Beck said, "the most common reason we stumble into the delusion of powerlessness is that we're afraid of what other people would do or say or feel if we were to act as we wanted."  In the 3 scenarios Martha Beck mentioned the woman in the 1st was afraid of her daughters anger, 2 was afraid of losing her job over enforcing her own ethical beliefs, 3. predicted the disintegration of her family if she focused more care of herself.

Often it is as if we are waiting for the permission of others or society to do what feels right for us. As we wait for that permission we walk through life feeling powerless and unhappy.

While I sympathize with these women's situations, (mainly because I have experienced 2 similar situations) it is difficult for me to accept their decisions to remain "powerless" because I have known others and experienced situations myself that are far more daunting but the difference is refusing to be dis empowered. Empowering ourselves to be the people we want to be and have the lives we want to have or stand for our beliefs helps connect us compassionately by deciding to act and refusing to give up when others disapprove, disagree or judge us. We cannot let fear of the unknown cause us to behave as if we are powerless. By refusing to give into our fears we are empowering ourselves to live as we see fit.

Live with no fear and great love!

Securing Your PC And Your Data

Elance_Alex 

Contractors, professionals, entrepreneurs, and businesses of any size have one thing in common: Their computer and the information on it is the centerpiece of daily operations. And with that, maintaining a high level of security for your business or your client is an absolute must in today’s digital world.

Additionally, freelancers and contract professionals that work from home can sometimes overlook computer security since they're in the comfort of their own home. Here are a few quick tips you can employ to add an additional level of security to protect you or your client’s data.

Passwords: Your password is the most important pillar of the security of your data, both personal and private. However, a surprising number of hacks in today’s world occur when a weak password is compromised through various techniques. Here are a few simple rules that you should follow when creating your passwords to thrwart would-be intruders.

1. Avoid using very commonly used password techniques, like names, birth dates, and common words and phrases as these are usually the start points for those looking to break into accounts. Also, remember that just because you flipped your password backwards does NOT make it secure.

2. Don’t use the same password for everything. This should be obvious as if one password becomes compromised, then all of them are. If you can’t create a password for every single account (which I know is difficult), at least try to get down to the category level. For example, have a password for your social media, a password for your finance, a password for your email, and a password for Elance.

3. Don’t be lazy when fulfilling password requirements. For example, if your account requires you to use a special character and a number, don’t just add an exclamation point and the number 1 to the end. In the eyes of an intruder, “monkey1!” isn’t too much more secure than “monkey”.

If you are guilty of any or all of these, it’s probably about time to give your password a makeover.CSOonline.com has an excellent write up on how to create a solid set of passwords to protect all of your personal and business data.

Hardware Security: Having a strong password is just the start – now you’ve got to implement it. First, add a boot password in your computer’s BIOS. This will require whoever that engages your computer to have a password to even fully turn on the device and will curb immediate access to the machine if it is ever stolen. If it sounds a little too technical, fear not – it’s a very easy process that anyone can complete. Also, it’s not a bad idea to add a password to your Windows or Mac OSX logon for an additional layer of security. (And if you want to add a little James Bond factor to your security, you can secure your Windows or Mac computer with a any USB key.)

Secondly, if you’re utilizing a wireless network, be sure to have wireless security set up on your router or access point, and also be sure to use the WPA-type of security at the minimum. Check out PC Magazine’s step-by-step guide for more. While you’re at it, consider utilizing your MAC address filtering for more security on your wireless network.

Use Protection: Make sure you are equipped with an adequate level of anti-virus and anti-spyware software to prevent any access to your machine. Safer Networking’s free Spybot program and Symantec’s AntiVirus are programs I use to keep my machine running virus-and-malware free, however there’s a lot of free and paid software out there that will do the job. (Check out “How To Speed Up Your PC, Fast” for more options.)

Security software will prevent malware, like keyloggers, password stealers, and Trojan horses, will help prevent personal and business data theft. One thing to keep in mind: There’s been a rise in fake security software programs out there offering to clean up your infected PC that are actually making PCs more vulnerable when installed. Be sure to keep download your software from a reputable source when looking for security solutions.

A question to all you tech-savvy elancers out there: What security methods do you employ to keep your personal and business data secure? Share your tips and tricks in the comments below. And if you have any story tips, feel free to email me at alex@elance.com with your idea.

Company bathroom policy causes stink - Stephenville Empire-Tribune | Stephenville, TX | News, Sports, Lifestyles: Local: walmart, bathroom controversy,

Company bathroom policy causes stink - Stephenville Empire-Tribune | Stephenville, TX | News, Sports, Lifestyles: Local: walmart, bathroom controversy,: A company policy has reportedly created a stink at Walmart in Stephenville.

By AMANDA KIMBLEamanda.kimble@empiretribune.com | 0 comments

A company policy has reportedly created a stink at Walmart in Stephenville.

The issue centers on the restroom rights of one employee, a pre-op transexual who despite having male genitalia, identifies herself as a woman.

Walmart's anti-discrimination policy allows the employee to use the women's restroom.

The controversy began with the employee's request to be called "Michelle." The name change was honored by the local store manager years ago, but some of her co-workers refused to call her by that name.

"I got really tired of people calling me 'sir,'" she said. "My name tag has said 'Michelle' for more than two years."

The issue was most frustrating when dealing with another member of the local management team, who despite repeated requests, continued to refer to Michelle by her legal, masculine name.

Frustrated, Michelle contacted the human resources manager in Abilene and was shocked to learn that company policy would do more than just stand behind her preferred name.

"I was told it's Walmart policy to include transgendered people," Michelle said. "I learned I have the privilege of using the ladies room and members of management should address me as Michelle."

"(The next day), on July 2, I walked into the ladies' associate restroom without incident," Michelle said.

Following a couple of days off, she returned to work, where the climate had seemingly changed.

"At the end of my shift, I was asked by two female employees if I was using the ladies' restroom. I told them I was and I had permission," she said.

Michelle said she left the store but was called back less than two hours later and was told that her newly-acquired restroom privileges had created a "horrible fallout."

"People were complaining, employees and customers," Michelle said. "There were phone calls and an employee petition was circulating."

But Michelle says the customer complaints are unfounded.

"I haven't been in the public restrooms in two-and-a-half years. I stopped using them when I was allowed to change my name tag," Michelle said. "Until recently, I had been using the men's associate restroom inside of the break room - even when I was in the store as a customer, shopping in a dress and stockings and carrying a purse."

Michelle said the internal conflict led her to relinquish her rights.

"It's not worth hurting the store by going into the ladies' room," she said.

Despite the scuttlebutt, Walmart is standing behind Michelle.

Since Sam Walton opened the first Walmart in 1962, the culture in the retail chain has rested on three basic beliefs. At the top of the list is "respect for the individual," according to walmartstores.com.

"Our policies are in place to prevent discrimination or harassment," Ashley Hardie, spokesperson for Walmart said Tuesday. "We believe associates should use the restroom facility that corresponds with their own gender identity or expression."

Hardie said it's store policy to recognize and respect all associates and customers and their varying viewpoints.

"We understand people may have strong opinions and balancing their viewpoints isn't easy," she said. "But respect for the individual is our priority."

The Empire-Tribune was first alerted to the controversy by a concerned customer, Rhoda Taylor, a 62-year-old mother and grandmother who travels to the local Walmart to shop. Taylor, who has friends employed at the local retailer, said she is shopping elsewhere for the time being.

"I have trusted Walmart with my daughter and grandkids," Taylor said. "I no longer have that trust, they are allowing someone with the opposite gender to be in the same bathroom as children. How do you explain that to a child? They should post a warning outside of the women's restrooms letting customers know men are allowed to use them or create a unisex restroom. They have betrayed public trust."

 I can't believe we are still having this discussion. What does this 62 year old woman think is going to happen if her grandkid happens to be in the stall next to this transgendered person? It's not like the stalls are open in the women's restrooms so they wouldn't see anything or know anything.  What if  people decided they didn't want to shop in a store that allowed old people in the same restroom as middle aged or young people? Would that be any more right? Discrimination is discrimination.  No one freaks out when they see a father in the men's restroom with his toddler female child or a mother in the women's restroom with her toddler male child.....what's the difference? Put yourself in someone else's shoes before you start judging people. You have no idea what this person had to go through before making a decision about their gender identity. With all this discrimination and hatred I still find it hard to believe that this is a choice....

The Pit Bull Breed

  Now, when you see this image the first thing that pops in your mind is "that dog looks mean and aggressive. In reality that may not be the case at all. Sometimes just the mere appearance of some of the most loving animals can be intimidating to many people.  The truth of the matter though is any dog can be taught to be mean.  

American Pitt Bull Terrier, American Stafforshire Terriers, Staffordshire Bull Terriers, English Bulldogs and of course mixed breeds are all lumped together as the "Pit Bull".  

The "Pit Bull" was never meant for dog fighting. Of course the cruel dog fighters will argue this point with you until they are blue in the face but if they were as half as intelligent as they like to think they are and half as devoted to their animals as they boast they are then they would do a little bit of reading and learn differently.  The "Pit Bull" was originally a hunting dog in the early colonies. "Pit Bull" pedigrees date all the way back to the 1700s.  The pit bull breed has been a registered breed longer than most AKC breeds we know today. Man bred this breed to be able to hunt and take down large aniamls such as bulls (a hint about the name of the dog) and boars and also became known as the Butcher's Dog.  

As we no longer have to go out into the woods and hunt our dinner the Pit Bull has become more of a domesticated family pet now but even those dogs can be taught to be mean.  Pit Bull Rescue Central says it best when they state, "There is NO justifiable reason to throw two dogs in a pit and watch them tear each other apart. "  




The Pit bull is a wonderful, loyal, loving breed.  Pit Bulls have qualities and characteristics that can make them the best companion ever but these same charancteristics can be manipulated to destroy a wonderful being. Pit Bulls are intelligent, very responsive to training, and, above all, eager to please. With this traits Pit Bulls should be enrolled in obedience training as soon as they are up to date on their vaccinations to begin learning the skills to be excellent companions. A well behaved PIt Bull is the BEST way to fight breed prejudices.   


Pit Bulls can live in a city or country environment as long as they have plenty of exercise to eliminate their energy. While many Pit Bulls can be laid back couch potatoes once they reach maturity they are also known for their rambunctious playful behaviors throughout their lives.  


Pit bulls are energetic, agile, and strong. They are also very resourceful and driven. Determination is one of their most notable traits: They put their heart and soul into whatever they set out to do, whether it is escaping an inadequately fenced yard to explore the neighborhood, destroying your new couch if left home alone without a proper outlet to combat boredom, or climbing into your lap to shower you with kisses!


Pit Bulls tend to LOVE people.  All people. Most Pit Bulls are too friendly to protect a house against strangers unless they have been taught to be people aggressive.  Breeding of Pit Bulls with bad temperments is one of the largest problems facing the Pit Bull today.  Pit Bulls tend to be very gentle with their family and desire only to please them.  Pit Bulls are natural pack animals and with a strong PACK LEADER (this means you) will fall into the pecking order. Pit Bulls with proper temperment and training will inspire devotion from their pack leader who has properly trained and provided for their Pit Bull and you can often hear RESPONSIBLE Pit Bull owners say they will never own another breed. 


Breed:
American Pit Bull Terrier/ American Staffordshire Terrier

Average Life Span:
12-14 years

Typical Health Problems:
Generally healthy, may be subject to Parvo, hip displaysia, hereditary cataracts and allergies.

Personality:
Pit bulls tend to be very dependent on their humans and crave love and attention.




On average, pit bulls tend to be very confident and outgoing dogs. However, their natural confidence can be eroded by severe abuse or long confinement with little human contact.

What are these dogs surrendered for typically?
Owner turn-ins of pit bulls are usually due to dog aggression (which is often mistaken for human aggression by inexperienced owners).

Other reasons include:

• Destructive chewing, which is usually out of frustration and lack of exercise
• Too much energy/lack of time for dog and breed specific legislation against pit bulls in the area/moving to an area with breed specific legislation.
• Pit bulls also often are brought in as strays or confiscated from abusive owners, dog fighters, or criminals.

How do these dogs handle rescue or shelter life?
Being an extremely people-oriented breed as well as one that tends to be dog aggressive, the typical pit bull is not happy in a kennel setting. This breed does, however, do well in a home fostering situation, as they tend to bond quickly with new people. How well they tolerate a rescue or shelter depends heavily on the amount of human attention, contact, and exercise they receive, as well as on the individual dog's temperament and past experiences.