Seale (pointer mix) is in need of a FUREVER home! Please Help!

Seale developed kennel cough and was in desperate need of a temporary foster home where she could be treated and get well so NaKoda and I helped her out.

I picked Seale up on a Tuesday morning and brought her home  to stay with us (cat Dahlia, NaKoda rottweiler and me). Leader her into the truck was traumatic for her. She was so scared. I lifted her up and put her in the cab of the truck and she laid so flat against the seat I thought if it was possible she would just soak into the seat.  The ten minute drive to the house she laid their with her head in my lap as still as she could possibly be.

Once we arrived to the house she easily unloaded but stayed so close to me that you would have thought I had a dog growing out of my legs! Seale followed me into the yard where I left her alone for a moment so I could get NaKoda's shampoo and conditioner and a towel.  I returned back outside to Seale where she calmly stood as I scrubbed her free of dirt and fleas and ticks and dried her off.  Once this was finished I had to decide if she was coming in the house or staying outside but I quickly realized this dog was so scared and unsure of everything she was too frightened to come inside.

About an hour passed and from time to time I watched her outside and she found her a spot between the banana trees and quietly laid until I returned outside.

This time I took NaKoda outside to meet Seale with me.  While NaKoda went right to Seale and Seale submitted to NaKoda.  Seale was still terrible afraid of me and unsure of my intentions. Each time I reached to touch her she would sink away as if she thought I was going to hit her.  This broke my heart because it told me this young pup may have been struck. I believe to hit only teaches fear not obedience and I don't want to be feared.

NaKoda and I sat quietly together as I pet her and then NaKoda and I walked around the yard together.  If Seale would fall in with us then that meant she had chosen to fall into our pack.  Once Seale followed us into the house the rest of the day was about her adjusting to our house. She still remained close to me at all times but quietly sat by my desk as I worked and that evening she followed me so closely as I did chores and cooked dinner that if I turned around I couldn't see her because she was already behind me again!

The first night instead of putting her in a crate I decided to put a blanket on the floor beside my bed to let her sleep on.  As she quietly laid there all I could think was this girl just needs a new beginning - Miki (Lokata for "new beginning") I did start calling her Miki while she was with us and she did respond to it. (Pronounced me-key)

When I woke up on day 2 Seale was still laying on her bed, quietly waiting for me to wake up.  So our day begins.  I poured my coffee and Seale, NaKoda & Dahlia and I all went outside. Seale was still very fearful and wouldn't follow NaKoda out into the yard so I walked her around a bit and then she sat at my feet as I had my coffee.  For the rest of the day she laid next to my feet under my desk only moving to follow me around.  It wasn't until I was asleep on night 2 that the first sign of her personality started to show.  I was woken in the middle of the night to find her sneaking into my bed to lay next to me and NaKoda! Seale just wanted to be loved so badly that I let her stay.

As the 2 week period went on I noticed she has separation anxiety. The way she acted out was so funny. On 2 separate occasions during the time she spent with us I had to leave her in the house when I had to leave.  Upon my return each occassion I came home to find everything she could carry in her mouth piled high on the dog bed in my living room. My yoga mat, exercise equipment, shoes, books, magazines, every dog toy in the toy box was piled high on NaKoda's dog bed but the amazing part is nothing was chewed. It was just all there with her laying in the middle of it all. NaKoda was standing in the hall way looking at her like, "Mom it wasn't me".

Miki/Seale loved watching episodes of American Hoggers 

As each day passed she became more and more playful with NaKoda an they would run and jump and play.  We've been working on sit, stay has been a challenge due to her separation anxiety but once she finds a furever home and becomes comfortable she should learn pretty quickly.  Seale is very affectionate and eager to please.  Seale is leash trained but is also good off leash as well. Seale is completely housebroken and loves peanut butter sandwiches and carob and yogurt drops and granola.

Seale has gone several places with me such as the local city parks, my grandmother's house and friends' houses and has done well with all the animals she has come in contact with.  Seale met a couple of children as well and was drawn to them immediately. Seale was also able to attend the Brownwood Reunion event and while she was a little timid of all the noise and people she did very well.

Seale needs someone who will take her on long frequent walks or a place with lots of room for her to run and play.  She needs someone who will be patient and help her resolve her separation anxiety issues. I used lavender and camomile calming treats while she stayed at our house and she responded well.  Seale will be a faithful, loving, and loyal companion to her furever owners.

Roxy's owner arrested - Stephenville Empire-Tribune | Stephenville, TX | News, Sports, Lifestyles: Local: roxy, animal cruelty, david stokes, alexandria brantley,

If they did everything they could to help that dog then she wouldn't have been in such horrible condition and if she was beyond medical help then why was she just put outside and left to suffer (wounds from the chain on her) instead of being humanely euthanized? Any officer of the courts who would say that they did everything they could to "help that dog" is just as guilty as the owners.......


Roxy's owner arrested - Stephenville Empire-Tribune | Stephenville, TX | News, Sports, Lifestyles: Local: roxy, animal cruelty, david stokes, alexandria brantley,: The owner of an emaciated dog name

Frustrated........

Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we think it should or want it to.

When I was a little girl living with a mother who was dying from cancer while I was being sexually abused all I wanted was for someone to step in and rescue me. Even after I finally told my "father" what was happening to me, he let me down by telling me there wasn't room in his house for me. This was a devastating blow to that little girl. On top of feeling abused and unloved, burdened with watching her mother slowly and painfully die she was now saddled with feelings of abandonment by a person who was supposed to take care of her, love her and protect her.  This experience has stayed with me throughout my entire life. It wrote on the slate of who I was to become. It has affected every relationship I have had and continues to affect my ability to connect and trust others.

After my mother died of course my father was forced to come and get me but he didn't get in any kind of hurry to get there. Once there though it was a whole different experience. I felt the tension, I felt as if I wasn't wanted there. Like I was an unwanted burden from my "father's" past. I never could quite understand this though because my older sister was always treated as if she belonged even though I did not. I couldn't understand why she was accepted and loved and I wasn't. I felt so alone. I felt I had no one on my side. I felt as if I didn't belong and no one wanted me. I couldn't understand what I had done so wrong to make no one love me or want me. The years went by and things got worse. My "father" and his 2nd wife divorced and he blamed me for it. He constantly told me she left because of me. I put on this tough exterior and acted as if it didn't hurt me, but I also engaged in a lot of reckless, self destructive behavior because of the feelings of being unloved,  unwanted, and neglected.

Eventually, I was emancipated because after my "father's" marriage to his 3rd wife the court was able to get an excellent view into the abusive and neglectful life I had been put into and thought at 16 I would be better on my own. I always thought that this was a sad statement that even the legal system thought I would be better on my own than in my only living parent's house but I also agreed with them.

I never heard from one single family member. No one ever offered to help me and the remainder of my high school years was a great struggle to continue with school, pay bills, manage to get everything I needed, and survive but I did it for awhile. This survival though came at a great price. My reckless, self destructive behaviors put me in harms way several times and one night when I woke up to a man on top of me in my bed who I did not know nor did I let in the house much less my room a boyfriend's (at the time) mother came to my rescue and allowed me to stay with them until I graduated and went to college.

Even after I went to college though I always still felt alone and abandoned and I desperately wanted to be loved. I entered into many relationships out of the pure need to not be alone and feel loved but because of my experiences these relationships never lasted long and I never really truly trusted anyone and the cycle continued well into my adult hood. To this day I still have difficulty trusting anyone and have difficulty connecting with anyone.

Even with all this baggage I continue through out my life to try and heal but it's still difficult to connect and trust others. With a line of bad relationships behind me of people who lied, and cheated and stole from me I still try to put myself out there and take the risk to find love. To find someone I can trust. To find someone I can build a life with. It's not easy though because everyone seems to have some kind of  baggage of their own.

A few months back my friends introduced me to another friend of theirs who they thought would be a really good math for me. We met and things went well. He was a single dad in the military. He owned his own house and been married once. He was an outdoorsy kind of guy, hard worker, good father, good sense of humor and was attractive. We seem to have a lot of common interests.  A couple of weeks went by and when the mutual friends invited him out to their house again he asked them to also invite me out. Another occasion where I thought things went well.  A couple of more weeks went by and he texted me inviting me to another outing. Another evening I thought things went well. Then a couple more weeks went by and after a couple of ignored texts to him I thought, "he's just not that into me" and I had decided to move on. Then my birthday came around and our mutual friends were going to have a dinner for me. Surprising to me he showed up at the dinner. We had another good evening, so I thought. Then for the last 2 weeks nothing......now I could be jumping the gun and  this couple of weeks thing could just be his pattern but I am so confused by him.  I hate not knowing where I stand.

My friend tells me that he has his own issues from past relationships because his ex just up and left him while he was out of the country. His own family had a lot of issues, but I keep thinking these are not excuses for complete silence for a couple of weeks and then a sudden pop up. All I want is to have some communication in between the random get togethers every couple of weeks but getting him to respond has proven to be a difficult task. My friend's husband says not to take it personally because he does the same thing to him, but to me when you are trying to get to know someone it seems like communication might be a priority.

Accepting things that happened as they did

Oprah tells us that forgiveness is giving up the hope that things will turn out other than they did and accepting that events occurred as they occurred. Are there things you can't accept that happened as they did? Write down what you still can't accept.

I have accepted that events and people occurred the way they did and in many ways have turned those into positives in my life, but I still feel hurt at times.Sometimes it is hard to let go of all the pain from the past but in order to move on I have to. Some people tend to withdraw and are afraid to try new things or take chances on new people but I have always thought a life without risk would be no life at all.  

Instead of letting trauma or hurt from my past dictate my life I take risks every chance I get because I would rather get my heart broken or be hurt again than to never feel anything again.