Just a vent.......

I get sick and tired of people telling me I need to forgive my biological father or do something with/for him. It's always unacceptable to neglect or abandon a child but I had no control over my his actions. The past is the past and I have done my best to move on.  

Recently, an "aunt" who's had very little contact with me over the years (pretty much limited to running in to her at the grocery store) sent me a facebook message telling me it was my bio logical father's and his twins brother birthdays and I needed to come to the party. Are you kidding me? All the neglect and years of not being a father to me and no one tells him he needs to be a father but I am supposed to go to his 60th birthday because he's getting old? Where were you people when I was being abused and told him and he left me in the situation? Where were you people when my mother died and I had to move in with him and his 2nd wife and he constantly told me I wasn't wanted and that they were going to send me away? Where were ya'll when they divorced and he constantly told me it was my fault that she left because she didn't want me around? Where were you people when his 3rd wife was telling me how everything was my fault and hitting people? Where were you people when the state of Texas thought I would do better on my own that live with him and his 3rd wife because of all the threats to kill me or other people he made?  

I don't think so! There will be no celebrating his birthday for me. There will be nothing for me when it comes to him. I gave him an opportunity 4 years ago to talk to me about all the things that occurred but he refuses to acknowledge his part in the situations. I have moved on. I am not angry about it any longer that only hurt me but come on people get a grip and stop telling me I need to be a part of his life..........he was never a father to me! 

Dating......Again!

Dating can be a very tedious task and to be 100% honest I question quite often if it is really even worth it.  I look around and our grandmother's and great grandmother's generations of women who lost their husbands when they were in their 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. and never dated again or remarried and I can completely understand sometimes why they stayed single. 

Over the month of March I went on 4 dates with 2 guys.  The first guy was actually very nice. (We'll call him Daniel). Daniel was a couple of years older than me, had been single for a year, worked for the city and had recently started his own landscaping company and was trying to get it off the ground. He asked me out and we agreed to meet at a local Mexican restaurant.  We sat and talked and ate and I noticed that the entire conversation was about him and his kids and his ex and his business, etc. He didn't really have any questions for me, nor really allowed me an opportunity to share anything about myself with him.  While he was a decent looking guy I left feeling very little chemistry with Daniel. I wasn't sure if this was due to first date jitters or what.

A couple days went by and he texted me asking if I would like to get together at his house and he would cook out.  I agreed only if I could bring my NaKoda (119lb Rottie) with me since I did just meet him and wasn't 100% sure about going to his house.  The evening came and I arrived at his house and while it was a nice evening, again all the conversation was about him - even when I tried to say something about me or my life, or my experiences, he constantly interrupted me and turned the conversation back to him and again no chemistry, so I pretty much knew that would be the last date.  I ended the evening by telling him he was a very nice guy, I just felt like that we weren't a good match and thanked him for the meal. 

Then I met a guy at the grocery store (we'll call him Ronnie) who there was a physical attraction up front. We exchanged phone numbers and talked on the phone a couple of times before he actually asked me out, which I thought was nice. Our first date was just a casual kinda get to know you thing - we agreed to go for a drive on a Tuesday evening. I of course took my pepper spray and my 119 lbs rottie again, because this was someone I had just met.  It was nice we had good conversation a give and take.  We took about an hour drive and then I told him it was a week night and I needed to get back to the house because the next day was going to be busy.  He walked me to my door and said good night.  Good deal. Pleasant evening. 

The next day he called (point for him because he actually called and not just texted). We made plans to go out to dinner and drinks on Thursday night.  We met at the restaurant (thank God!). The evening started off all right - we ordered our drinks (I had intentions of drinking 1 beer - because I am not really a beer drinker and I can nurse one through a whole meal and I am careful about drinking on new dates and especially since I was driving too). We were talking and I noticed that he was talking an awful lot about his past relationships. Even though he said he had been single for 8 years as it turns out what he meant by that is he has been divorced for 8 years but he is a serial monogamist during those 8 years.  He began telling me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and not date other people, and that he needed someone to manage his money because he was horrible about money and he needed a girlfriend to keep his laundry done, and how he hasn't done anything around his house because he was waiting to have a girlfriend before he makes it a home, etc etc.  These were ALL red flags for me and I had pretty much decided I was going to finish the night and thank him for the meal but then, he moves over to the seat next to mine, instead of the one across from me and begins running his hand on my thigh. When I remove his hand from my thigh and tell him that's not appropriate he puts his hand on my neck and starts forcefully pulling me around trying to kiss me, which I tell him no that I just met him and that's not appropriate and as I am trying to pull away from him, he tries again to pull me towards him and lick my neck which at that time, I stand up knocking my chair over and walk out of the restaurant.  Really? Are you serious? What in your right mind would make you think any self respecting woman who find that behavior endearing? 

I thought that would be the end of that guy, right? I mean getting up before the food even arrives and walking out without even saying good bye would send the message right? Apparently not because on Friday I receive a text message from him - which I ignored. Then again this morning (not sure what time he sent it because I shut my phone off last night around 8pm and didn't turn it back on until 7am this morning) I have a text from him that says (and no I am not making this up) "Did I make you mad at me?" ................What???? Are you kidding me?  What about me telling you to stop something and then after you don't stop I get up and walk out of a restaurant before the food arrived and without saying anything to you makes you have to ask me if you made me mad???????? Are you that dense? Poor little boy, you really shouldn't be allowed out on your own if you have to ask that.  As of right now I haven't responded to it and don't plan on it. 

So that's how my March dating experiences have gone. 1 not too bad just no chemistry and 1 I could have just done without ...............

Makes me wonder ...............

Dilemmas...............

I have one client that I do project management, resource management, and bookkeeping for. I have had this client for awhile. Over the time I have worked with this client I have recommended to them on numerous occasions that the biggest problem with their business is the owner.

This client continues to procrastinate on issues that are detrimental to their business. They spend money on issues that are not urgent, and the issues that are urgent they are cheap on and have half ass work performed. This client micromanages the staff they have causing them to be unable to be productive and then this client wants high quality work for poor wages.

Tonight I had one of this clients employees (3rd in last 6 months) and tell me they would be quiting on Friday. Now, I am faced with the dilemma do I not say anything to the client and just let it happen and then reiterate all the things I have been telling them for the past 2 years or do I contact the client and let them know they are losing another employee on Friday?

Adventures Shared...............

The adventure of life is to learn. The purpose of life is to grow. The nature of life is to change. The challenge of life is to overcome. The essence of life is to care. The opportunity of like is to serve. The secret of life is to dare. The spice of life is to befriend. The beauty of life is to give.


While all these things are true it is very difficult to go through life without someone to share it with.