"It's 10 o'clock. Do you know what your child is doing?"

I have many friends with elementary/teenage children. Many of these parents often say, "my kids do not participate in the same behaviors their friends do, or my kids friends don't act like that" but a few weeks ago while looking at one of my many "chosen niece's/nephew's" face book pages I spotted one of the following pages likes listed, then I noticed another one and then my curiosity took off.


 My revenge on you won't kill you, it will make you wanna kill yourself (this one was found on the page of a 15 year old)

"F*ck you" ..."F*ck you too ! " ..."Im donee " ..."alriqht" ....1hr laterr --- "BABY..........,
...anndd thats why nobody likes you.
They Go Together....? Dont She Talk To...LOL DAMN!
"Ask me if I give a shit.""...Umm do you give a shit?" "Shut the fuck up!"
Sex after we fight_ (this one was found on the page of 12 year old)
6/9 National Sex Day!!! New Holiday (this one was found on the page of 12 year old)
Oh, Your dating my ex? I ate a sandwich earlier, you want them leftovers too? (this was found on the page of a 13 year old)
Dont Trust A Hoe
"You Need Anger Management Classes." "You Need Shut The Fukk Up Classes."
 "...If you don't get the FUCK out my face with that bullshit..."
Relationship = 1 girl, 1 boy & 1 stupid slut that ruins everything (n) (this was found on the page of a 16 year old)
DAMN YOU UGLY! BUT YO FRIEND CAN GET IT!!! (this was found on the page of a 15 year old)
DUDE! she just texted hey with two y's, she totally wants my dick.., (this was found on the page of a 14 year old)
You can kiss my ASS(Awesome Smooth Skin) (this was found on the page of a 13 year old)




I decided to check out the friends of some of my friend's children too and I found a few more pages these kids were participating on (I decided not to post their actual posts) and there were so many.  


When I hear my friends say, "my kids don't behave like that" or "my kids are not allowed to do that" or "my kids know better" I always think to myself and often ask my friends, "just because you were not allowed to do something, did that stop you when you were their age?". I am curious, why do parents think their children are any different than they were at that age? 


And by the way........the vodka in your liquor cabinet may be water and the whiskey may be ice tea.  

Why lie when the truth will do?

A friend of mine posted this on her Facebook page and it made think...............

"Here's a thought for people....why lie when the truth will do???? Not that I am dealing with this right now, but we are all put into situations where we are tempted to lie. Is it not better to deal with the consequences of the truth than have someone find out that you lied to them? I hate lies!!! I do not lie. And in fact I hate them so much that I try not to do anything that I might have to lie about later. Um...if we don't cheat on someone...we don't have to lie about it...lol. etc etc. There are many situations where this could be applied."

Everyone lies about something at some point, from huge deceptive whoppers to little white lies. 

As children we all heard adults tell us lying is wrong and as adults we have all said we can't tolerate lies. On the dark side of the moon, we commit the offense of lying almost on a regular basis. When we are trying to spare someone's feelings, save face, get out of doing something or avoiding trouble we venture over to the dark side and commit the offense we know is wrong and say we cannot tolerate.  According to Susan Shapiro Barash, author of Little White Lies, Deep Dark Secrets: The Truth About Why Women Lie 80% of women tell what they consider to be harmless white lies and half truths. According to David Smith, PH.D. and associate professor of philosophy at the University of New England lying is  “a very natural human trait." Vince Passaro Why Men Lie (and always will) discovered through various interviews with friends, associates, his own spouse, and various other contacts he discovered "men lie to avoid arguments, the dirty looks, the lectures, shame and the airing of unpleasant truths." When we break it all down people lie for self preservation. No matter what the situation it is to preserve something for themselves sanity, love, etc.

I think what people fail to realize though is, when a person tells those lies it is difficult to keep track of the lies you told and to whom. This in turn makes it difficult to maintain close personal relationships. Most people are afraid; even though the truth will do the consequences will be something they do not want to deal with.

 I have an old friend who calls quite frequently and always has throughout our 12 year friendship. Her calls usually consist of her repeating stories she has already told me or complaining about the same things in her life that make her unhappy. She doesn’t listen to advice or do anything to change the things that make her unhappy so sometimes I avoid her calls to avoid repetitive conversations when I truly do not have the time or interest to deal with her calls.  I have always been honest with her and told her I didn’t answer or call her back because I was busy with other things, wasn’t home or just didn’t have the patience to listen to her repeat the same thing she told me the day before.  I think at first her feelings were hurt but as she continued to call and would begin telling me a repeat story I would stop her right then and say, “yes, you told me that yesterday.” As I would do this with her she began to see that I was indeed right and this has slowly changed. In fact it is now a joke between the two of us and she will leave messages on my voicemail saying things like, “I can’t remember if I called you yesterday and told you…….so call me when you get a chance if I didn’t.”  Her feelings recovered, our friendship is still intact and life goes on for us!

On the dark side of the issue though, I have a friend we will call Paul. He and I have been friends for 15 years. I have been by his side through 2 spouses and numerous girlfriends, one night stands, etc. He is a very sensitive and jealous friend and this is just something I have learned to accept about him. This does not mean that I tolerate it but it is something I accept because we either love the people in our lives for who they are; warts and all or we don’t keep them in our lives.  Paul often gets offended by things or twists things in his own mind and then gets upset and avoids his friends for periods of time when he is upset by them. Many of our mutual friends tell him white lies to avoid hurting his feelings or upsetting him. I think that takes a lot of effort on their part and have always found it easier for me to just be honest with him.

 In the past there was a particular situation several of us knew about in which Paul cheated on his first spouse. Even though we all knew about it and were friends with his first spouse no one mentioned it even when Paul brought up his affair because they didn’t want to hurt his feelings with their true feelings or thoughts. However, when Paul asked me my thoughts I flat out told him I would not cover for him, I would not help him hide the affair, I thought what he was doing to his wife was wrong and that if she ever asked me if I knew something I would tell her the truth. This made Paul feel betrayed and for several weeks he didn’t speak to me and he avoided me at social events.  Many of our friends asked me if this bothered me and even suggested I apologize to Paul to make things better between us but what they didn’t realize was that I was fine. It was Paul that had the issue and that sometimes the truth hurt.  Over time Paul always comes back around and often regrets his actions and behaviors but in the end truth is always the bases on which I deal with him because it is just easier and by doing so I always feel true to myself and our friendship.

Isn’t is easier to confess to being the person who ate the last cookie than lie and say someone else did it? Isn’t it easier to say, “I am late because I ran into John/Jane at the restaurant and talked to them for 20 minutes before I came home”? Isn’t it easier to say, “dear I want to go on this trip alone because I just need some me time”, than to say “the office isn’t allowing spouses to go, or none of my friend’s wives/husbands are coming”? 

By telling the truth we can then deal with the real issues that exist or have no fear of what is or is not going on. It just makes life easier, even if we don’t like what we are hearing. 

There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall. ~Colette

6 years ago, when my divorce was final I found life to be very lonely and I was sad at the ending of my marriage.However, as I have done with every other situation in my life, I picked my self up, dusted myself off and continued moving forward in order to survive.

There were many occasions in which I wished I was still married like trying to recover financially from the divorce - two incomes are always better than one. Since I no longer had a partner though this meant in order for me to have two incomes I would have to have two jobs. Yeah, I felt like I was a teenager again, working multiple jobs just to pay the bills. Ugh!!! This left no time for a social life so my existence became a very lonely one.  Many dark hours were spent sitting on the floor grieving for the loss of my marriage and my partner. My dear best friend helped me through many dark nights just so I could continue on with my miserable existence.  

As I slowly accepted my new life and was able to get back on my feet financially things seemed to be a little better for me because once again I could afford to travel to see family & friends again and this helped with the feelings of sadness and lonlieness. I was able to move passed the grieving of the loss of relationship which is much like a death because what you once had will never be again. I was able to move past the anger (even though it does return from time to time in particular situations - but that's for later mentioning) and I was able to move past the sadness of knowing there was a possibility that I might be alone for the rest of my life. All of these feelings were replaced with a determination to moved forward in my life and with my goals and create the success I wanted for myself. This meant no matter what I had to continue to move forward. 

I have made my home truly my own & it only reflects my personality. The trips I take are places I want to go, when I want to go. My entire days are strictly planned around my own desires and needs an no one else's.  To many this may sound wonderful, but at times this can be one of the best and worst parts of a solitary life. 

I do not have a  partner to share my burdens with. I do not have a partner to share my joys with. I do not have a soft place to fall when the world is cruel and I just need a lovely place to feel safe and secure in. I do not have a friendly face to come home to or miss when I am gone. I do not have a partner to miss me while I am away. Sometimes I am greatful for these things when I listen to many of my married friends complain about their relationships but then other times when I am sitting alone watching a movie at night or there are home repairs needing to be done, or when I just feel stressed and need someone to lean on I truly miss having a partner.  

Recently, I have been over doing it between work and all the things that have to be done around my house and the rental property but I have no other choice because these things have to be done and I alone am responsible for these things. People always comment to me they do not know where I find the energy to accomplish all the tasks I accomplish but what they don't realize is that I do not have a choice. If I do not accomplish all the tasks at hand, then they just do not get accomplished. Without someone to share my life with all the responsibilities of caring for the life & environment I have created become mine and mine alone.  

I am sure I will get over this feeling of being over whelmed as I always do & I will find a way to accomplish all the things that need to be accomplished  -but for now, I guess  I am just tired which lends itself to sadness and in time I am sure I will over come these feelings and once again step out alone to face what life has brought my way but  for now I just wish for rest.   

You might say I am a dreamer but I think I am a free bird............

The work atmosphere is amazing! I & all my sub contractors work from our home offices, local coffee shops or even from our gardens.  




This also means we have a super casual work environment, I can't tell you how many days in the past few years I have actually worn my robe to work & then stayed in it all day long! We don't do it just on National Wear Your Pajamas to Work day, (National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day is always the day after taxes are due in the United States.) 

and of course the most enviable thing about my job is the flexible schedule. There is nothing better than waking up knowing my day is my own and I can make work fit around what I want to do that day & how I feel that day. It doesn't matter if I want to lay on the couch for a little bit before starting work or 

 if I want to attend a birthday party and just play with the kiddos or

 only work half a day so I can attend my niece's softball game or

 skip a day in the middle of the week to attend a family gathering or to just go spend the day riding



or an afternoon playing in the snow. I have the freedom to do all these things and work around them because I work my own schedule from any place I want to be. No job I have ever had has allowed so much flexibility!
 





 Personally, I think I am one of the luckiest persons in the world because I have finally found work that fits my life instead of trying to make my life fit around my work! I couldn't imagine having to work in a corporate environment after working for myself virtually. It is my dream job! It is bliss!























 Rather than being an employee, a Virtual Assistant is an independent contractor and business owner in their own right. 

The best way to describe the Virtual Assistant role is to briefly explain what I did last week.
Working from my home office with several different clients, I:

�� typed some reports for a consultant and emailed them back

�� designed a Powerpoint presentation for a speaker. He was presenting at a conference overseas the following day. I emailed it back to him

�� designed and organized the printing of a flyer for a singer who has a performance coming up

�� bookkeeping for a couple of clients

I did all this without seeing or meeting any of the clients: we communicated via emailed. 

Think of the Virtual Assistant as a freelance administrator, designer, organizer, researcher, editor, typist, secretary, coordinator, manager all rolled into one!

Clients enjoy the flexibility of using a Virtual Assistant as and when they require, without having to pay a regular wage or employee benefits. This means huge cost savings for clients, as they are only paying by the hour for actual work done or a flat rate. There is an increasing demand for Virtual Assistants, as more and more people realize their true benefits. The future of Virtual Assistance is certainly looking bright.