Conversations on the First Date

Long awkward silences are horrible on first dates. I often think if my date can't hold his own in a conversation then he's not going to hold my interest for very long and a 2nd date won't happen but what about my side of the conversation?

There is nothing worse than a date who spends the entire night talking about themselves. I definitely do not want to be that girl (even though I am pretty interesting). ;)

My plan is to talk about family, jobs, hobbies/interests, music, movies and books. This leaves a lot to be talked about and if a date doesn't have any input on the list of subjects then he's probably not going to be able to hold my attention for long and may not be that interesting. A definite no no for me is politics and religion as well as exes.  If someone brings up their ex to me on a first date I take that as a sign that they may not be be completely over the ex or the circumstances of the relationship break up.

We will see how the date goes and I will report back! 

The First Meeting

The time has come for the first date. Most of us spend so much time preparing for the first date, primping, thinking of things to say that by the time the date actually arrives our nerves are completely shot!


Advice #1: The first date should be fun and casual! 


Well, that doesn't sound too difficult, I think I can handle that!


Advice #2 For the first date you should meet your date at the location!


Well that's a no brainer! My thinking is meet them at the location that way if the date is a dud (uninteresting or psycho) they don't know where you live and you can get out of there whenever you are ready!


Advice #3 For the first date meet in a public location where you can either engage in an upbeat, fun activity, or a place where you can sit down and talk (or both, if you wish). Whenever I've gone on a first date, I have always met the person (that's right, met them somewhere-- they never pick me up or vise-versa) at a batting cage, book store, video arcade, coffee house, or a sit-down restaurant. In other words, a public place (both for safety's sake, as well as maintaining a relaxed atmosphere)!


Again, no brainer! A public location prevents any awkwardness, provides for conversation topics about situations going on around you and provides a safe environment! Wouldn't my Mom be proud?

Advice  tips from: http://hubpages.com/hub/Are-you-nervous-about-your-first-date-Heres-how-to-make-it-go-as-well-as-possible

That's some more of your business .....

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 am and sleep until noon?
This is one of the benefits of being my own boss and working from home and having a flexible schedule.  


Just because you are stuck working 8am - 5pm with little freedom day in and day out for someone who doesn't appreciate you and doesn't understand that a happy employee is a productive employee or that half of the time their employees are "riding the clock" is costing them more than if they let you have a flexible schedule doesn't mean you can rain on my parade! Don't judge me because you aren't happy in your life! 

The darkness moves in and covers the day. We confess our deepest thoughts, hopes, dreams and fears to unlikely "friends" and with the morning sun we retreat.

Dave Barnes - God Gave Me You

Wedding Dress for sale

For those of you who will be proposed to today or if you know someone being proposed to check out the wedding dress that is available here: 

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2027423&id=1466208527&l=0b07c70289

Single on Valentine's Day

Who says Valentine's Day is for couples?

It's that time mid-winter when we are bombarded with endless flower commercials, jewelry commercials and candy commercials. Honestly, it's enough to make anyone throw their flat screen out the window!

Love is not only meant for couples. For many of us even though Valentine's day is truly a commercial holiday about selling candy, cards, jewelry and flowers Valentine's day can be a difficult day when you are single. Instead of thinking about being alone on this day, love yourself.  Go out to dinner alone! Send yourself flowers or buy yourself a gift! There is nothing wrong with loving yourself because if you don't do it - no one else will either!

For those of you who want to avoid the sickening cooing couples do something different! Volunteer, go to a yoga class, head to the gym for an evening work out (you never know Mr Right could be there too!), stay at home and paint, draw, write, take a photography drive, or just take your dog for a walk at the park! There is no reason you have to hide under the covers tonight because you are single!

I intend to spend the night at the gym working out, taking Koda out for a stroll, picking up some dinner and having a movie night!

Splash! Slipping from the lily pad.

Isn't life absolutely hilarious at times?  Just when we think we may see a ray of light through the dark clouds a sudden storm swoops in and causes us to lose our balance and fall smack into the puddle!


For the past few weeks I have enjoyed exchanging messages with a guy who actually appeared to be an interesting human being and was able to hold his own in an intelligent conversation then last Sunday he hit the pond with such force that the waves knocked me off my lily pad and splat! Right into the water.

I received a message that said, "I am gonna go out on a limb here and say you are not interested in me."

I could help but wonder what was he talking about - we had been exchanging messages almost daily for about 2 weeks.  I read on.

"if this is the case could I ask you to give me feedback as to what it is that you don't like because you can't improve without feedback lol"

In my mind I thought, ok 1. this guy texted me by mistake 2. this guy is needy and fishing  I responded by telling him to come back in off the limb I just hadn't messaged because I had had a busy weekend.

His next text sent up flags as well but for the sake of the experiment I decided to see where they went.

He texted, "I always took it for granted that the relationship part would just take care of itself".

I asked him how long had it been since his divorce and he replied "18 months". In my book that is not very long because it took me about that long just to get over the hurt caused by my significant other and face my own part in the break down of my marriage but I thought, let's see where this goes.

He then asked me how long since my divorce and I told him June would be 6 years.  His next response not only didn't shock me because this is how men seem to go quickly these days but I must admit it did disappoint me.

He next asked me how I deal with the lack of intimacy since I had been single so long.  I informed him that intimacy had many levels.

He texted, "if you can't have a good conversation then I don't even want to see you naked" so I responded, is that all you are looking for good conversation and sex?

Then he deflected and without answering the question asked me the same.  I informed him I noticed the deflection and let him know that No I definitely was not just looking for conversation and sex!

I must admit that I expected to have many of this type of exchanges because this was my experience over the past 6 years in my daily life but I was hoping against all odds that I would have at least one positive experience but again it has only been a couple of weeks so we will continue on and see what lies ahead!

Mad World - Gary Jules

Bouncing from lily pad to lily pad

While weeding through all the fogs in the dating world I often wonder if the online environment is any different than the real world experiences.  It's the chase that keeps us coming back and the desire to find a companion to share our lives with but it is the constant ambush of bullshit and obnoxious persons who make us wonder if it is worth it at all.

It has been a few weeks since I first started my experiment and I have actually talked to a couple of person's. I have weeded out many who were just looking for a good time and I am sure I will continue to have to wade through the masses of those responses but there have been a couple of guys who have sent a message stating they want to get to know me.  The problem is that a couple of these guys have sent initial contact stating "I would like to get to know you" and nothing more. I respond and then they respond again with a simple line such as, "I have had a busy week" or they simply agree with something I have said in my response. The conversation feels like pulling teeth. I have left those stranded in my inbox like they have hit a dead end street because I learned a long time ago that conversation is an important part of a relationship for me because if you can't stimulate my mind and hold my attention then eventually I will drift away!

Then I was contacted by another guy has been able to hold my attention for an evening of exchanges about his interests in riding motorcycles, going to small towns shopping, and his dogs.  However, he asked me very little about myself and didn't really respond to anything about I shared about myself but instead seemed to skim over those parts and only want to talk about himself.  Now, don't get me wrong part of good communication is being a good listener and I have no problem listening to someone else talk about themselves but when they show no interest in hearing about me I have to wonder..............are they really trying to get to know me?

Then there was another guy who for the past couple of weeks we have shared daily messages and discussed books, psychology, philosophy, volunteering, etc. I have a spark of hope that there might actually be a decent guy out there after all.