Can Single People and Married People Be Friends?

One thing I have noticed in the past few years is that not only has my dating life taken a downward spiral but my overall social life seems to be in a never ending slump too. With each passing week I feel like I am growing further and further apart from my friends and loved ones. Is it because I am so socially retarded or is it because all my friends and loved ones are married? 


No one ever wants to be the last single friend. I use to have nightmarish visions of growing old alone but now those nightmares have turned into visions of being the eternal "3rd wheel".  Then a new situation happened that I never even thought about. The babies started coming. As the years went by I was excited for all my friends who were starting their new families. Many had already started their families while I was married. Even more began after though. 


It doesn't bother me that my "parent" friends can't go out every weekend anymore, because frankly I am not into the bar scene any longer, when I do have the occasional date I can always go see a movie and more often I can go to the movies by myself (which I often do). I am actually pretty happy to go over to their houses, have a couple of drinks (or not) and play with their kids! The discussions of breast feeding, developmental disorders, how smart their kid is, and who put what up their noses, soccer games, baseball games, etc. I have totally immersed myself in as any good friend would do. 


However, while this all seems to work in theory I still could help but feel something was off and the friendships were changing. While I could relate to their daily lives it seems as my "married friends" couldn't relate to my life any longer. One would think that the "married friends" would want their "single friend" to find true love and happiness in a relationship too, but do they ever ask?  Sometimes it appeared that if a situation didn't have to do with being a parent or a spouse it didn't even register on their brain.  


This just doesn't seem to make sense to me. While I am the divorced/single person who has never had kids, I seem to be able to find ways to fit into my "married friends" world but now that they are married they can't seem to remember what it is like to be single. Much less single and over 30.  My "married friends" all apologize to for being so boring. Like watching a movie on their couch is any different than what I would be doing if I weren't there with them. 


When you are single and the weekend or time off approaches you think about spending time with your friends - married or not. It seems that when you are single and all your friends are married you are always the one doing the inviting. I guess when you have a partner you don't sit around on a Saturday night saying, "hey honey let's invite NaKoda over to watch a movie".  


Dating has even become a substitute for having to invite myself to spend time with my friends. It's not always the easiest or most comfortable thing to invite yourself over to someones house, but 9 out of 10 times if I am going to spend time with my friends that's how it has to be.  


Sometimes I wonder if my "married friends" ever put themselves in my shoes. With the high divorce rates or even natural life events could easily put my "married friends" back into my shoes. I just think if I can sit and listen to their incessant complaints about how big a slob their husbands are, how lazy their husband's are, or redecorating the kids rooms, they can definitely find a level to relate to me on. Hell, we all have jobs, ask me about my work. I have a family. Ask me about my nieces, my mom, my sister. Anything! I may be single but there is a lot more to me than my current marital status....even if my "married friends" don't seem to realize it!