Late at night when I can't sleep, it's usually because my mind won't settle down. Thoughts race through my head like a pin ball bouncing from point to point ringing bells and sounding off alarms. I toss and turn, I channel surf, trying to locate something that will help settle my mind and send me off to dream land, but most of the time nothing works. It's not so bad when this happens on the weekends because I can sleep in, but when this happens during the week, (which is when it usually does) things get even more stressful.
What am I stressed out about? Well, about Karen's cancer....I worry I am going to lose her to the same disease I lost my mother to 20 years ago, I worry about my bills, I worry if I have made the right decision for work, I worry if I am doing well at work, I worry if I am going to find a renter for my house or be able to sell it, I worry if my trucks going to stay in running order, I worry if I am going t have money to buy groceries, I worry about Koda, I worry about my niece, I worry about everything.....sometimes I can't stop worrying. Then I worry that I worry too much. I try to "give it to God" as others tell me to do, but then I worry is God going to take care of my worries? Sometimes I think if I didn't worry ....would I worry about not worrying?
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