Listening to myself

A month has passed since I last updated.  I made a choice in the dating department. I informed Michael I had concerns about all the issues I had and let him know that these are all "red flags" in my mind and let him know that I wanted to deal with all the issues in a slow manner but that I wanted to be courted at a slow pace while addressing the areas of concern.  I had a feeling that I was right about all the issues I thought h had and that he would not be a strong enough man to deal with a healthy, independent woman and that he would not court me, deal with his issues (because he was in denial) and handle Independence and that he wouldn't call and things would be over.

I haven't heard a peep out of him in about a month. I texted him Happy Holidays when I texted all my contacts and nothing. It made me laugh a little bit because it was more evidence that he just wanted ready made family and did not truly want me. (I deserve someone who truly wants me). I was happy because I knew I had made the right choice for me.

Sometimes when I talk to people about relationships they act as if they think I don't want one, but the truth is that I do want a relationship more than anything but I want a good, healthy one. I want a companion, a partner, someone who has their own healthy life and interests as well as someone who has some share interests and will continue to grow with me.  I was someone who is going to court me and treat me right. I want someone who can have an intelligent conversation, has ambition, and who still wants to grow as a person.  I don't think this is too much to ask for, but I do think it might be hard to find.