Wishin and hopin and think and prayin............

I was sitting alone in my house the other night after a long day of work and calls from 2 friends with bad news and a call from a tenant with bad news and I thought of that old song 

"Cause wishin’’ and hopin’’ and thinkin’’ and prayin’’ 
 Planning and dreamin’ his kisses will start. 
ou’re thinking how great true love i
 That won’t get you into his heart! 
 

 All you gotta do is hold him’ and kiss him’ and squeeze him’ and love him. 

 Yeah’ just do it! 
 And after you do’ you will be his. "


 Sometimes the hardest part of my life is not having a partner in life to share the good experiences and the bad experiences with.  Not having someone to turn to when one of my best friends calls up and tells me her mother has been diagnosed with cancer or another friend messages me and tells me her little sister who has battled cancer her entire life is having a biopsy because she may have more cancer or a tenant calls and tells me their having flooring issues and hot water heater issues because the people you usually turn to are the ones having issues.  

I think so many of my married friends look at my life and see the freedom I have to live how I want, go where I want; when I want, eat what I want, decorate how I want, etc etc. but they fail to realize that while these are all benefits of the single life they are also the downfalls because I don't have a family to share my life with, to turn to when I need someone in an intimate way, or to witness my life as I witness theirs.  

Sometimes in the still quiet of the night when I am able to sit in quiet and reflect on the days experiences or life's experiences I miss having someone close to share these things with.  I look at my coupled friends lives and I am envious sometimes of the family they have, the spouse they have to come home to, to share a home with, keep a home with, take care of and provide a soft place for them to fall in the hard times. Then when I talk to them and hear the complain because their spouse doesn't help around the house as much as they would like them to, doesn't help with the kids as much as they would like them to or are not as affectionate as they would like their spouse to be and I think to myself is it all worth it? I always answer myself with the same answer: I think it is worth it because a life built alone can be a very lonely life, even when in a crowded room. A life without a partner can make it difficult to carry burdens and a life without a partner leaves no one to share the blessings with.