Are you a flower or a gardener?

I heard tonight that in all relationships (whether they be siblings, parent/child, friends, or romantic)  there is always a gardener and a flower.  It made me stop and think which am I?   

I think in most relationships I am the gardener. I am always tending to someone else's needs, their feelings...etc.   I often let the people in my life talk and talk about themselves, I have allowed my family to sit back and come to them and in romantic relationships I am always there, plugged in doing all I can do to make sure the other person is happy. Even in most of my "friendships" I am always listening and helping to others problems and rarely sharing my own. 


In the past year I have reconnected with an old friend who recently told me that when she knew me as a teenager she had no idea of all I had gone through in life or what I was even going through during the years she knew me. She's right too. As I have grown older I realized that I only let people know what I wanted them to know about me. Mostly, it was because I never truly trusted anyone and partly because I knew most people really didn't care because they were so wrapped up in their own lives. 

However, I have noticed that over the past few years I have stopped doing that so much. I tend to not engage with people who are completely wrapped up in themselves and the ones I do still allow a place in my life with; I limit my interaction with them to times I do not feel like I will be "sucked dry" so to speak.   I have written alot of family members off because they don't pick up a phone and call me or because they have never made the effort to journey to see me, I have written friends off because they never stop and ask me......"how was your day"  


Sometimes we need to be our own gardener and take care of ourselves because if we do not, then we can not take care of those we love. I think many people fail to remember this and continuously allow others to drain them until they have nothing left to give. As we go through life we have to remember to tend to those we love as well because without give and take our relationships will tend to die.