Life lessons learned from others actions

All of my life I have been a people watcher. I have sat back and observed their actions, how they interact with others, what people say, what people don't say, their body language, their reactions to others behaviors,their decisions, the consequences for the decisions they make and I have given great thought about my own actions, decisions, consequences, behaviors, what I say, what I don't say and I like to think that I have learned something from all of this, but sometimes I wonder if I learned the right lessons.

Growing up, my mom and I didn't have much. We struggled most of the time but somehow we managed and survived. As a young adult I didn't have much but I had dreams and I somehow I struggled and survived. I learned that if you have dreams, set goals, and make the right sacrifices then you can make your own dreams come true! I learned thta sometimes you have to meet your goals alone and sometimes you have help but you survive.

Zack is single father. His ex wife is a drug addict but his ex in laws help him raise his daughter. Over the last few years he has had some hard times due to being laid off twice. Each time he was laid off he had to take a pay cutt with the new employment he found. During the times he was laid off he pawned many of his treasured belongings to make sure he and his daughter ate and the bills were paid.

A few weeks ago he was in an auto accident. The accident was not his fault but the other person did not have insurance (he was also here in this country illegally but that's another story for another day). Zack's truck was totaled. The vehicle is totaled but it is still drivable but would not pass inspection as a safe vehicle to have on the road, nor would it be able to insure or get tags. This could cause futher financial hardship if he were caught driving this truck on the road once the tags or inspection expired or the insurance company (which he only has liability on) found out the vehicle was totaled. He complains all the time that he needs to save up the money to have the truck repaired which is going to cost him a thousands or purchase a new vehicle. He told me that he wasn't going to go to our group of friend's Friday night outings any longer because it cost too much. I told him that I needed to save money as well and that's why I hadn't been attending them.

Every Friday since that time he has sabotaged his own goals by going to the outings and spending money he doesn't have to spend. Instead he goes out and sits at the resturant and drinks, spending money he doesn't have.

Nancy goes to the same establishment several times a week. She also abuses prescription mediactions on top of her drinking. She supports her entertainment by charging to credit cards. She is spending money she doesn't have. She complains that she knows she has issues and she knows she drinks and takes pills so that she won't have to deal with those issues. She knows that this causes issues in her marriage, she knows it causes issues with her friends and this has caused her a legal situation. She was arrested for dui, and hitting a parked vehicle without leaving information. She was lucky because she works for the judge and knows the city attorney and they have worked out a deal that she will only be charged with the hit and run, and she will take alcohol abuse classes. She goes to court tomorrow.

With all of these issues riding on the line she still engages in this behavior. She still sabotages herself on a regular basis.

I don't understand that. I have found myself in the past (and I am sure I will in the future) doing things that are self destructive but I catch myself and learn from it and stop myself from knowingly engaging in self sabotaging behaviors as much as I can. I am not perfect by far, but if a person knows they are engaging in such behavior why wouldn't they stop themselves? Why being knowingly self destructive even when the alternative may mean sacrifice to reach one's goals?