Letting go ............continued

All seemed well. I was working (more than I really wanted to), I was making new friends and started going out on Fridays with friends for drinks and dinner and I was getting a lot of work accomplished on my home.

I still sometimes had to deal with my passed issues but for the most part I was in a good place.

One of the issues I still struggled with was the desire to have my father be a part of my life even though I had given up on it long ago. He just never exhibited the desire to really know me, he never acknowledged his part in the traumatic events that occur ed in my childhood and without this I wasn't sure that I ever could have a relationship with him of any kind and I definitely did not a fake relationship with anyone. Life was just too short and I didn't want to waste mine chasing non realistic or fake relationships with anyone.

A second issue I was still dealing with and trying to resolve was the type of person I attracted. What was it about me that attracted broken souls? All the men in my life wanted someone to take care of them, all my friends had similar issues of child abuse, just exactly what was it about us that caused us to seem to gravitate towards one another and exactly what was it about me that seemed to cause me to be the center? Everyone seemed to lean on me, tell me their problems, and expect me to have all the answers? What is it about me that causes everyone to be around when they need something, but when I need something only one friend was ever there.

Alexandria and I met when she started working at the bar I worked at. We didn't get along at first, we think because we were both so much alike. Didn't take any shit and told it like it was. We both did all the drugs we could get our hands on, we both were going to school, we both had horrible family situations and we both desperately wanted someone who understood. We raised hell together even though we had very different circles of friends we always seemed to gravitate towards one another.