Life has not always been an easy experience for me. For those of you who know me or have been following my blog you have recently discovered the abuse I have survived through out my childhood and adulthood.
Recently, I received an apology from a guy who I have known since jr. high and who has been persuing me for the last year. I always thought of this guy as a friend in school. He was sweet and shy and not pushy. He was easy to talk to and felt safe. I always knew he had a crush on me but the feelings were not mutual and since he never brought the subject up I felt comfortable maintaining a friendship with him.
After we graduated he joined the military and we lost touch until he got out and moved to same town I was living in. I was married when we re established contact and he soon entered a long term relationship as well.
About a year ago he discovered I wasn't married and soon after he ended his relationship. He quickly asked me out and I agreed to go on a "friendly outing" with him since he was so freshly sepperated. However, that was not his intention and once I realized this I ended the evening politely. However, before I even made it home that night he had already texted me several times and the text were all of a sexual nature. He wanted me to know how much he wanted to be with me, and that he could do things that would be pleasurable for me, blah blah blah. We've all heard those lines before, right girls?
I did not respond to any of the texts, thinking he would stop. However, for the next few weeks he continued. I finally responded letting him know this was not appropriate behavior and I did not want to engage in this activity. He stopped and his contacts became similar to old times, more appropriate and less sexual in nature. I thought my message got through to him. I was glad because I always thought of him as a friend and a nice guy.
Then recently, they started up again. I was curious as to why the nature of his contacts changed again so I asked a mutual friend (he didn't know I knew) what was going on with him. I discovered that he had been dating someone. No problem. He has that right but what made him think that since he wasn't in that relationship any longer he could go back to doing the things I had previously told him I didn't like? Some people really have a set of balls of them!
Saturday morning he texted me and asked if I would meet him for breakfast. I was out looking at properties so I told him maybe if I got through I could meet him for a late lunch. He proceeded to text me for awhile telling me how long he's been interested and that he wants to make slow, passionate love to me, blah blah blah same story different lines, right girls?
I told him that I wasn't interested and that I wasn't dating right now and was taking some time to be with me. He kept acting as if this was a horrible thing to do. I assured him it was not and was a good thing for me!
Sunday morning(this morning) he texted me asking me to breakfast again. I said no. I had already eaten and was gonna mow my yard. I had called in an order to a local resturant and was headed to pick it up and low and behold who is sitting in there when I walk in? He is. UGH!! I picked up my meal and headed back out. I went on with my plans and worked outside and mowed the yard. I came into the house to discover several texts from him. Apparently he had picked up the Sunday paper proceeded to read the interview I had done on Thursday with a local writer about my history of child abuse and domestic violence and advocacy work. He texted that he was so sorry and if he did anything to offend me that was not his intention and if I needed to talk to anyone he was there and blah blah blah.
All these years he knew me and never knew anything real about me. Why is it ever ok to talk to anyone that way? What difference does it make what happened to me in my past? Why is he sorry now, but thought it was ok to behave that way before he knew my past? It amazes me sometimes how ignorant and inconciderant people are with their actions.
Either way he should know better than to behave that way. Especially, if he wants a relationship with me. If I am so special it shouldn't be ok to talk to me that way. If all he wanted was a one night stand or fling or I ever led him to think I might be interested in a sexual relationship that might be different but come on now......use your brain.
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