Is this too much to ask for?

Someone asked me the other day if I thought I would ever get married again. This made me stop and think about all the comments my friends and family have made towards my love life since my divorce.

At first everyone told me how my ex husband wasn't good enough for me, how I'd was better off without him, and of course my favorite...there's someone out there waiting for me. These people didn't understand that "the first cut is the deepest" and that I gave my all to that relationship and that my heart needed time to heal. However, after some time alone and time to heal I was ready to get out there and start over again, but my constant question was; where? I am in my mid 30's, all my friends are married, I don't want to meet someone in the bars and I live in a small town, so again I ask; where?

Well, time went on and I tried the online meeting thing. I thought this would be perfect meet someone, talk on line and on the phone and really get to know them, but I seem to talk to weirdo after weirdo or they were just looking for a hook up and neither was what I wanted. Then I let a friend set me up with a couple of friends - yeah that didn't work out either. Then I dated a couple of guys I met through jobs and that never ends well so I decided to volunteer, go to the park with my dogs, go sit at the local coffee shop and read or work in the evenings, go to the local book store.....and still nothing.

Sometimes I know that I am fine by myself. Sometimes I meet someone and some piston's fire but not all of them and wonder if I will have to settle for someone that doesn't spark all the pistons. Then I talk to Karen and I don't think I should settle. I think that a relationship wouldn't be a lasting one if not all the piston's were firing.

Then it dawned on me, I don't want to do the random dating thing anymore. I want to be in love. I want to have someone to sit and read with, I want someone to take walks with, I want someone to help me paint the rooms in the house, I want someone who will take me out, who will cuddle on the couch with me, have long talks and laugh with. I want someone to share my life with who also excites me.

Is this too much to ask for?