Letting go ............continued

Therapy can help a person put order back into a chaotic life. It can help sort out the issues that cause us to behave the way we do and desire the things we do. After all the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over; expecting different results.

In my therapy sessions I was comfortable enough for the first time in a long time to talk about the traumatic issues I had experienced in my life such as the sexual, physical and emotional abuse I suffered at the hands of my mother's boyfriend and girlfriend. I was desperately afraid to talk to my mother about it because she was lying in bed dying from cancer. I was able to talk about the issues I had with my father because I felt neglected by him. I was able to talk about my mother's death, moving in with my father and his physically and emotionally abusive wife. I was able to talk about how I was alway made to feel like I wasn't part of their family unit. I was able to discuss my own self destructive behavior because as you may know - when the abuse stops we often become our own abusers if we do not deal with our issues.

With each session I began to realize I had been so busy surviving life circumstances that I had no idea who I was or what I wanted out of life. This lead me to start discovering the things I was interested in such as painting, writing, photography, education, spiritualality, music, and so on and so on. I began reading books about different philosophies, healing, places of interests, and just started to discover myself. I realized that life could be good; if I made it so. I realized that I was worth something - to myself; if to no one else. I realized I was talented and smart. I realized that I like me; just the way I was.